My personal long term goal is to become a civil engineer and be an inspiration to others

Hi, I want a review on my essay.

Prompt: Write a brief statement outlining your personal and academic goals (100-word maximum)

My personal long term goal is to become a civil engineer who will not only benefit myself but be an inspiration to others.i want to help and collaborate with other engineers in my community to the development of my country. Obtaining a Bachelor's degree in engineering will allow me to gain the required skills and qualities and develop my intellectual capacities in order to achieve my goals.

Lucas, there is no real meaning behind your response. This is what is typically called a "run of the mill" response. Meaning that the answer you gave can apply to any course and can be given by any student applying for admission. Basically, it is similar to a non-response which gives an answer without really answering the question. That said, what you have to do is revise your essay to be more personal in nature and specific to your interests. That means that you have to deliver a real reason for wanting to become a civil engineer. Is this something you want to be because you want to help solve a particular problem facing your country? If so, then give the specific reason in relation to that question. Your academic goal also has to be more than just about completing the degree through the completion of the studies. It has to be a reason that shows a career path based upon the completion of your studies. Talk about some specific subjects that you hope to excel in so that you can have a more solid foundation for your career. Make sure that the academic reason you opt to show will make the reviewer take note of your previous academic achievements in specific, related subjects as well. That will show an academic progression on your part as a reason for your academic interest in the course.

@Lucas1997
You have just 100 word maximum, so there is no neccesity to repeat 'My personal long term goal is..."- My advice to you is to make your constructions shorter in order to write important things