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Longevity brings many drawbacks; nevertheless, it still benefits young people -IELTS life expectancy


aiman02 1 / -  
Dec 27, 2015   #1
One of the concequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expentancy is increasing.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?


Recently, Improving of health care give more benefits for human to live longer and increase their life's duration. Some people believe that living longer give many benefits rather than it advantages. I strongly believe that living longer give many dire effects.

Nonetheless, many people argue that increasing old people in one country brings some trouble. The main factor is overpopulation in one country because of longevity of old people. There are some drawbacks of life's duration of old people, such as society and financial aspect. Firstly, old people who live longer can become burden to society, old people who enable to do their daily routine need help of some people in their surrounding. In addition, people who live longer must be funded by our government due to they are not productive anymore to work. Futhermore, the rate of getting disease like dementia disesase increase that can not be treat with modern technology.

On the other hand, the longevity makes old people can get treat of their children. Otherwise, young people are able to know their grandfather or their grandmother. However, old people can share a lot of about their experiences in preceding years so that young people can learn from their past generation. For example when taking decision young people must think it over about the consequences that they can face next. In my opinion, young people must concern with old people can increase their self-awaness.

In conclusion, although longevity brings many drawbacks they still can give contribution for young people. Young people should care about old people to improve their self-awarness in their social life.

eber2016 3 / 6 2  
Dec 28, 2015   #2
I fixed some grammatical errors below. You need to revise this essay again COMPLETELY. It's not even near finished, good luck. By the way, i stopped color coding the corrections so keep on reading to see the changes i made.

Recently, improving of health care gives more benefits for humans to live longer and increase their life expectancy. Some people believe that living longer give many benefits rather than it advantages may benefit them more rather than disadvantages. I strongly believe that living longer give many has countless dire effects.

Nonetheless, Many people argue that increasing old people in one country brings can cause some trouble. The main factor is overpopulation;in one country because of longevity of old people. longevity in elderly citizen aids overpopulation. There are some drawbacks of life's duration of old people, longevity in elderly citizens such as social and financial aspects. Firstly, old people elderly people who live longer can become a burden to society, old people who enable to do their daily routine need help of some people in their surrounding. are unable to follow their daily routines often need help of others. In addition, people who live longer must be funded by our government due to because they are not productive anymore to work cannot work anymore. Furthermore, the rate of getting a disease like dementia disesase increases, and that cannot be treated with modern technology.

On the other hand, the longevity can increase the time elderly people spend with their families. Otherwise, young people arewould not be able to know their grandfathers or grandmothers . This can allow elderly people to share a lot of about their experiences in preceding years so that young people can learn from their past generation. For example, when taking decisions, young people must think about the consequences that they can face next. In my opinion, young people interacting with elderly people can increase their self-awareness.

In conclusion, even though longevity brings many drawbacks, the extended life of elderly people still can give contribution for young people. In my opinion,Young people should care about old people to improve their self-awareness in their social life.


Home / Undergraduate / Longevity brings many drawbacks; nevertheless, it still benefits young people -IELTS life expectancy