Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS task 2 - The benefits and drawbacks for people starting their own business


M3L1 26 / 6 11  
Nov 23, 2015   #1
Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people like to build their own industry rather than to work in a company or organisation. They determine to start a business because they have new ideas and inventions to develop as well as monetary assets to achieve. I argue that the benefits of people starting their business outweigh the drawbacks.

In order to manufacture their own product and to fulfill the demands of the market, some people choose to establish a company. There are some benefits for people who work for their own business. First, the company will be more creative to invent more fashionable products, such as a thinner smartphone, a lighter and faster tab, etc. They also will get their own trademark. A good promotion can raise their selling and their brand will be recognized by their competitors and consumers. The more costumers know about the products and like them, there will be more trading and the brand will be more famous.

However, there are some problems to be noticed. To introduce their product, new entrepreneurs have to spend more money to advertise it. If the advertisements are uninteresting, the customers will be unwilling to buy the products. The other common problem is that the products are not distributed extensively which mean plenty of the costumers cannot buy the products in their area.

To sum up, I believe that the benefits for people starting a business outweigh the drawbacks. People who establish their own business will get challenges to be solved, but the opportunities to obtain the benefits are greater.
Bayuwibowo 48 / 73 21  
Nov 23, 2015   #2
It would be nice to create a "hook" at the beginning of the paragraph and at least you must create 3 sentences.

Start-up company are easy to build these days.Becoming an entrepreneur is a common way people choose rather than to work in a company or organization. Even though working for a company provides enormous funding in the beginning, I would say that starting a business are reflecting the new ideas and develops invention in order to achieve monetary assets.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 - The benefits and drawbacks for people starting their own business