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'I look at my watch' - Yale Supplement



abck300 4 / 10  
Dec 31, 2011   #1
You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, Short Answer, and Personal Essay. In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.

I look at my watch. Seven twenty. It's ten minutes before the concert, and I am standing on the parking lot, my silhouette swallowed by the darkness. I could be in the building doing final sound check or reviewing the concert schedule. But I choose to stand here, alone. Feeling the chill of the winter breeze, I stare at the solitary light coming off of a streetlamp. Silence and calmness. These are the things I need in this moment.

I'll say that it's some sort of a personal tradition. I always spend some time alone before the beginning of a performance. It's my effort to stay respectful to music; when I perform, I want nothing to stand in between myself and music. Only when the canvas is blank can a painter truly fill it with the strokes of his brush. It's same with me; I need to empty my mind of all noises before I can play anything. So I stand here, in the parking lot, listening to the whispers of the breeze, the clicking sound of my shoes, and the crispy noises of leaves sweeping the ground. From afar, in the darkness, I can see the towering trees gently shaking in time with the breeze. I can see the stars illuminating in the pitch darkness. My only obligation is to seize this moment. Let my lungs be filled with chill air, and my mind be filled with the calmness of the scene.

I look at my watch again. Seven twenty-eight. I must go. I enter the building and walk towards the backstage. As I open the door, unpleasantly warm and stuffy air rushes out. The place is filled with noises, carrying that excitement just before the opening of a concert. I casually walk up to the stage with other members and put on my bass. The conductor steps onto the stage, and the audience ceases the conversations. Awkward silence. I can feel the tension on the rest of the band, but I am in my calmest mood. I am here to create something new, something different from the last rehearsal. I am here to seize every moment. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get going; the show is about to begin. As usual, it begins with the counts.

One, two, three, four ...

TheLeader 2 / 34  
Dec 31, 2011   #2
Wow, write more! This is very engaging, I was fascinated by your essay since the first paragraph. Great idea on your essay speaking in present first person, something I haven't seen done this well for a while. Keep in mind my edits on your first and second paragraph. There isn't anything I can critique about your third paragraph. All in all, exceptional and unique essay. You and your band must be great. Best of luck!

Please check out my essay(s)! :)
BigBoob15 4 / 17  
Dec 31, 2011   #3
This essay is good. It shows not only your passion for music but also your "ritual" before performing. There are some error though.
basketball 7 / 34  
Dec 31, 2011   #4
Hi, I think your essay is very interesting with a lot of nice details in it. These are ideas that I understood from your essay. You like to stay alone before your performance. You like to observe the silence and calmness as well as everything around you. After that, you go to your performance and you feel that your mood is calmer than your band. This is a nice essay overall but I just wonder if this is everything you want to tell the admission more about yourself. You have many well observations but consider if they really want to look at it/or care?. Good luck with your admission to Yale :)
divina 3 / 4  
Dec 31, 2011   #5
I have to agree with all the above-mentioned. It's very engaging and interesting. I felt like I was standing there next to you. But yes, try to elaborate more on why is that matters to you, how it affects you. I think basketball made very accurate observations, I'd take them into account.

Good luck!


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