...lost in the world of digits, stumbling through the intricacies of numerical manipulation....

Any advice and/or correction would be much appreciated.

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humour, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)

I was lost in the world of digits, stumbling through the intricacies of numerical manipulation when a shrill ringing broke my trance. "I need your help", the text message read. It was the night before our mathematics O-Level examination but I put aside my books and called my friend over. We studied late into the night but I did not care as long as I could help my friend succeed. The exam went great and when the results were announced, my happiness over my grades turned into elation when I found my friend also celebrating his result.

This compassion and selflessness is my most treasured personal trait. I am driven by a passion for helping others and a desire to bring out the best in them. I have recently taken up motivational speaking. I usually speak to small groups of junior class students. I encourage them to set their aims high and to strive for excellence. I managed to persuade a few of them to take the SATs and now many are following suit (I was first person in school to take SAT I).

The respect that I have earned from my peers and juniors has propelled me into leadership positions at my school. I am currently the Head Boy and also the House captain.

I feel a sense of achievement when I am successful in explaining any difficult topic to someone. I know that my hard work has been all worth it whenever I see the gratitude in my friends' eyes.

The impact of your compassion and selflessness is not really clearly presented in the essay. You speak of making a difference in the lives of these other students which is actually a good thing. However, we need to know about what kind of direct effect this has had on your life. How has this attitude impacted your attitude towards life and other people and how have other people come to perceive you because of this trait. Has it made you more approachable? Does this mean that you are open to self sacrifice? At what point do you think you will stop being so selfless and helpful? Is being the head boy and house captain a direct result of these traits? Please clarify those points as these will prove the impact of your character traits towards your life at the moment.

Thank you very much.