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I love to dream/ to visualize, conceive & to create; Stanford App/ What matters&Why?



collegemaster 2 / 5  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
So I have this Stanford essay, and I feel like it's too mundane or there's nothing special about it. Does it answer the question well? What can I do to make it unique/stand out? General suggestions are also appreciated!

What matters to you, and why? (at least 250 words, 2000 char max)

Late nights are something I've become all too familiar with these past few years. The trials of high school have taken their toll on me, but on those sweet, invaluable nights where my responsibilities are taken care of, I can enjoy a full night of sleep. And what does that enable me to do? Dream. I love to dream. The opportunity to escape reality, if for a few hours, is the chance to imagine without boundaries. It is during my dreams that I picture results without being bothered by constraints. Only in my dreams am I able to visualize, to conceive, and to create in an environment that concerns itself with innovation rather than restricting me to the mundane. "A Whole New World," as Princess Jasmine would say. Dreams, however imaginary, have had a solid impact on my real life. While my team was brainstorming for the Inventeams Competition, I had a dream I was blind, but I could tell my mom was angry at me by the tone of her voice. After much reflection and revision, this idea evolved into our grant-winning design for a bracelet that would convey a person's mood to an autistic child during conversation. My dreams are a major part of who I am. I frequently find myself in the same classroom, the same laboratory, the same home as others, but because I can imagine my own future, because I want to reach farther and higher, my ambitions are part of my individuality. But not all dreams are good. Nightmares paint for me a dark hyper-reality, a manifestation of my worst fears come true. Suddenly I'm all alone in the middle of nowhere surrounded by a slithering set of snakes, scared for my life. But when I wake up in the morning, my normal routine restored, I appreciate life so much more. That's why I love to dream: it shows me a whole new world, but it can also make me feel like the one I live in is just right.

Thank you!

malaikaiyer 6 / 13  
Dec 26, 2012   #2
This is beautiful! I mean that honestly, it's very well written and I think its beauty lies in its simplicity. The fact that dreaming is expected, its something almost everyone does, and still it means so much to you. I felt like I related to this a lot. This sentence, "While my team was brainstorming for the Inventeams Competition, I had a dream I was blind, but I could tell my mom was angry at me by the tone of her voice. After much reflection and revision, this idea evolved into our grant-winning design for a bracelet that would convey a person's mood to an autistic child during conversation." is a bit condensed and unclear. I would rephrase this sentence to either explain why your mother was mad (but I understand word count restriction) or just take that part out entirely. Also, you use the word "but" a lot. I would steer clear of using "but" to start a sentence, try using some other words. Also, I would try using more imagery (again, I understand cause of word limit)

"But not all dreams are good; nightmaresespecially paint a dark hyper-reality, where a manifestation of my worst fears come true."
That's just my suggestion. Other than that, I think you have a solid concept and it dives into a realm of your imagination, a key element in an admission officer's thought process.

Would you please look at my supplement?
mzontario 9 / 43  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
This is great! I really don't feel like you need to change much. Beautiful narrative.


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