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Love-Hate Relationship while playing piano; Common App/ Extracurricular


cofls12 2 / 6 1  
Dec 27, 2012   #1
Please be meanly honest! Thank you in advance :o)

I have a love-hate relationship with playing the piano- I love the sound, the amalgam of numbers it creates with its 88 keys, and the clarity of emotions the instrument brings to me, yet at times, I despise the long hours of practice, the sore fingers, and the hackneyed theme of it all. I am no Chopin or Debussy and since there are so many people who play, I often feel drowned in the sea of talent of other pianists. Despite my efforts, whenever I audition for various competitions each year, I often end up with certificates of 'Recognition' or 'Participation'. The love-hate relationship, however, also means that the piano and I cannot get enough of each other. How else could we have stuck with each other for so long? Even though I do not always get desired results, I boomerang back and finger each black and white key again, in preparation for now and next time. Hardships, goals, enjoyment and failure: I owe to my piano the importance of perseverance and dedication.

katev 18 / 120 24  
Dec 27, 2012   #2
the piano- I love

the piano. I love

the amalgam of numbers

Now is not the time to show off your extensive lexicon... haha. Just say mixture. That is unless you would normally say amalgam

to me, yet at times

to me. Yet, at times,

hackneyed theme

your other reasons are reasonable, but saying piano is hackneyed makes it seem like you really hate it...

'Participation'.

'Participation.' I don't think these two need quotes and capitilization

I boomerang back and finger each black and white key again, in preparation for now and next time

Odd phrasing. I always come back to play the black and white keys again

I owe to my piano the importance of perseverance and dedication

I owe my appreciation of perseverance and dedication to the piano

Not sure if you should give not winning a reason for hating piano. I know you are saying much more than this, but in essence it can seem sort of immature to say something along the lines of "if I can't be the best, then I don't like it as much." Colleges want to see that you push yourself, but more so motivated by desire and passion, not "oh phooey."
sogoldman 6 / 21 2  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
amalgam of numbers

Numbers? Do you mean notes?

at times

I'm not sure if you should include this. Your description of the long hours, sore fingers, and hackneyed theme makes it sound as if you always despise those aspects of playing piano. After all, when would you enjoy sore fingers? The addition of "at times" takes away from the assertiveness and strength of this statement. However, I understand that you don't want to say that you hate piano. Ultimately, it's your call.

I am no Chopin or Debussy and since there are so many people who play, I often feel drowned in the sea of talent of other pianists.

I like this metaphor. You're missing a couple commas: I am no Chopin or Debussy[,] and[,] since there are so many people who play [piano], I often feel drowned in the sea...

whenever I audition for various competitions each year

This is too wordy. You could simply say, "when I audition for competitions," except I guess you want to convey that you participate in a lot of competitions. Perhaps "I audition for many competitions; despite my efforts, I often end up with..."?

The love-hate relationship, however, also means that the piano and I cannot get enough of each other.

I know you're trying to be funny here, but it mostly comes off as weird. Sorry.

in preparation for now and next time

What exactly are you preparing for? Future competitions? Recitals? Be specific! Saying "now and next time" doesn't help your purpose at all, and it is a waste of characters and your reader's time.

Hardships, goals, enjoyment and failure: I owe to my piano the importance of perseverance and dedication.

What? You need to connect those words to something! You could say, "Piano has provided me with hardships, goals, enjoyment and failure; it has taught me the importance of perseverance and dedication."

A solid essay! You communicate your main idea well. Good luck!

(Could you please edit one of my essays? Thanks!)
xamanda 8 / 21 2  
Dec 27, 2012   #4
I think this is a great essay, the only thing I'd say is that it might be a little too extreme when you talk about how you despise the hard work. I know this is a main point in your essay, but try to have a greater focus on how, despite the grueling work, it's still worth it to play the instrument you love. Also, if length becomes an issue, I'd suggest cutting out the sentence about the participation certificates--Or at least phrasing it a little differently. (I'm sure you're being humble and that you are much more talented than this sentence says you are! :D)

Overall, I love the concept. It shows you are willing to make sacrifices for something you are passionate about. Good luck! :)
OP cofls12 2 / 6 1  
Dec 27, 2012   #5
I appreciate everyone's responses!! I definitely need to play with it a lot more. Thank you for all the edits and suggestions!


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