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My Love - Soccer Commonapp Short answer Question


ayushgp 3 / 5 1  
Jan 6, 2013   #1
Please review this essay. Your Opinion is welcome :)
The Character limit is 1000 characters. I have written 119 words or better say 650 characters.
The quote is - Please elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experience in less than 1000 characters

I think soccer is the only sport I love to play and watch. From full on sprints to gain possession from the opposition to being as precise as staying on-sides on an attack; soccer demands the most physically and mentally. I crave the thrill of the game and the physical exhaustion that follows. Soccer helps me soothe my mind by drifting my mind away from the upcoming daily tasks, and casting off other stresses.

I have always naturally been good at playing as a midfielder because of my quick reflex actions and ability to pass the ball accurately. I am not in the school team but I often play the game in a nearby field with my friends.

Thanks in advance
moon05 13 / 133 20  
Jan 6, 2013   #2
most, physically and mentally.

soothe my mind by drifting my mindit away

tasks, and casting off other stresses.

no need of the comma

You have a lot of characters left. People crave for even 2 or 3 more characters and you haven merely crossed the half of what is given. I would advise you to draw an experience, a memorable football match or some event that shows your sportsmanship... And then describe what you like about football, what are the things you are good at etc. etc..

Try to go to the character limit as close as possible.. and describe your love for football!
OP ayushgp 3 / 5 1  
Jan 6, 2013   #3
"Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority." -Vince Lombardi.
From full on sprints to gain possession from the opposition to being as precise as staying on-sides during an attack; soccer demands the most, physically and mentally. I love the thrill and spontaneity of the game and the physical exhaustion that follows. Soccer helps me soothe my mind by drifting my mind away from the upcoming daily tasks and casting off other stresses. Another reason I love soccer is that it is a sport activity which helps to improve my strength, speed and stamina.

I have always naturally been good at playing as a midfielder because of my quick reflex actions, agility and ability to pass the ball accurately. I am not in the school team but I often play the game in a nearby field with my friends. The most exciting match I have ever played was against the students of St. Paul's school. It wasn't an official match and was played in a public field. The score at full-time was 5-6 with my team losing the match. Still it was the most fun match I had ever played because of the sudden turn of events in the match. Before halftime we lagged by 3 goals. As the match kicked off again, we managed to get the score to a tie, 5-5. We were just about to go for penalty shootout but they scored a last minute goal.

Hey moon05 I have revised my essay. Please review it. It is now a bit longer though. Please also tell me how can I curtail it.
moon05 13 / 133 20  
Jan 6, 2013   #4
Well it is good overall but there should have been a better ending! I just don't know how to squeeze one in this freaking character limit... As I, myself somehow put something in this 1000 character thing!
OP ayushgp 3 / 5 1  
Jan 6, 2013   #5
Alright. Thanks a ton for your time and review!!
Editing an essay is quite a challenge especially if you have a character limit. First it was at 650 characters. I redrafted it, it went directly to 1350.
chocolateshoppe 5 / 19 4  
Jan 6, 2013   #6
Hello haha so I'm not sure you should say

physical exhaustion

is what you love. Do you mean the rush of adrenaline instead? Or perhaps the thrill of knowing you played a good game? I'm a cross country runner and I definitely understand that there's just something so great after a match/race.

Just a suggestion :) Good job!


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