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Macalester College application essay; add a value to the Mac community, academically and personally



jon4659 2 / 8  
Jan 11, 2016   #1
Macalester is a community that includes people from many different backgrounds, some who have lived around the world and others who have lived in one place their entire lives. Please write an essay about how your background, experiences, or outlook might add to the Mac community, academically and personally. (250-500 words).

I think that this essay definitely needs some work however I was not sure how to go about it, I think my section on education is a little brief and the rest too long. I was not sure whether to write less on the background part or broaden it out instead.

Where I live there is an extremely small proportion of people from other backgrounds, because of that I have little experience with other cultures. This means that around me there is often a narrow-minded view of other cultures, religions and backgrounds. I have never quite understood what made people think this way so I have always kept an open-mind about others. Coupled with my love of learning and finding new things, this means I love meeting with completely different people and learning about them. Because my experiences with other cultures are limited, this makes me value them all the more as it is not often I can experience people who are completely different to me.

Coming from England I feel that I can provide a feeling of what life is like in a country which although has the same language and ideology is actually full of differences, not just in obvious physical differences like the education system and government. But the feeling of "same but different" is a often hard to describe feeling.

I hope at Macalester I can show people how being apart from different people does not mean you become ignorant of them, the opposite can definitely be true, in fact, the absence of many other cultures has made me more fascinated with them. I can provide a viewpoint which can help people to understand that the differences between people are in fact something that should be learned about rather than disregarded or shunned.

Throughout my life I have loved learning, taking extra classes and after school activities are things I have always done in order to learn more. However, what disappoints me the most in my peers is the view of education as being a necessary evil in order to achieve later in life. I find that the top performing students in my college are often the ones who complain the most about lessons and how much they wish to be out yet constantly talk about how they absolutely must have the best grade to get into the best university to get the best job that exists. This is not what education should be about, by valuing the lessons I attend and not viewing school as a necessary evil I feel like I have gained more from my time there than my peers who get perfect exam results.

To conclude, what I can contribute to Macalester is the idea that being apart from other cultures does not mean that you become insensitive and narrow-minded, in fact it can provide the opposite and can encourage people to learn about others rather than ignore. I hope to encourage people to look at learning as an incredibly important aspect of life, something that is far more important than the grades they will get at the end.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Jan 11, 2016   #2
Jon, after reading and understanding your essay, I believe what you did is right, the prompt is asking about your background, how this background will affect

or influence your stay in Macalester College.

The college would like to understand how would you be able to contribute to the community, not only academically but more
importantly personally, they want to know how your English culture and tradition as well as traits will be able to add in the
making of a better institution.

I would like to share the remarks below that will hopefully enhance your essay further.

- Coupled with my love of learning and finding new thingsexploration ,
- Because my experiences with other cultures areWith limited exposure to different culture ,

- However, what disappoints me the most in my peers is the view of education as being a necessary evil in order to achieve later in life( this sentence is not necessary ) .

- and not viewing school as a necessary evilnecessity

- learn more about others rather than ignore .

There you have it Jon, I hope my remarks and corrections on your essay helped!
OP jon4659 2 / 8  
Jan 13, 2016   #3
Thanks very much! Is there anything you would advise I change about the content? I wanted to make sure I hit all the criteria well
justivy03 - / 2265  
Jan 17, 2016   #4
Jon, the content of your essay is good, it's one of those prompts for an essay that does not really
need much of a heavy explanation, rather, a more personal one.
Background is what the prompt would like to give emphasis on and this is just what you did,
as mentioned, you just did a good number of paragraph that would elaborate your background.

Overall, you have a good essay and it's well written.

I hope you will be able to explore more of your writing skills, practice makes perfect, so keep writing.
Write about anything, it does not have to be an essay or a letter, write just about anything, this will help you
hone your skills in writing.
Refresh your English language and grammar rules as this will help you come up with much better essays,
also, whenever you can, read, this helps in your vocabulary too.


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