Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 4


Male-role models - obstacle or bump in the road in your academic or personal life



lardolava 1 / 1  
Sep 21, 2011   #1
Essay 1 - If there has been some obstacle or bump in the road in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances. The essay has 2 parts, which have to total up to 500 words or less, I'm not a very good writer so any help is good, thanks, I also am not able to think of an actual ending/conclusion so if you have a suggestion what would fit from what else I wrote please say.

Everything about that one day was normal -- I was talking on the phone with one of my friends, trying to make plans, but, little to my knowledge everything was going to change. My sisters and I were called from our respective locations by my mother. Within an all too quiet atmosphere, my mother told my sisters and me that my father had passed away in a motorcycle accident. My sisters started crying while I sunk into a stupor. Days went by, and relatives came to give their consolations, all whilst I stayed in the same stupor. The next school year I was unable to do much of my work, and due to this I starting doing extremely poorly in my English classes where the most work was due. As I continued to go through school, I was unable to learn from my mistakes; with an un-authoritative mother I was never wary of the true consequences of my actions. Even further than that, growing up without any male role-models hampered my ability to mature, without the help and advice from my father I grew up being coddled and not truly learning from a strong male figures side.

juniormathwiz - / 7  
Sep 22, 2011   #2
I grew up being coddled and not truly learning under a strong male influence.
NeonGhost 5 / 20  
Sep 22, 2011   #3
I was talking on the phone with one of my friends, trying to make plans, but, little to my knowledge everything was going to change.

This is a little bit comma happy.

maybe:
"I was talking on the phone, trying to make plans with one of my friends. However, it was little to my knowledge that everything was about to (or going to, whichever you like) change"
OP lardolava 1 / 1  
Sep 22, 2011   #4
Thanks for you input everybody, didn't realize I was being so possessive of my mother apparently, but once again, thanks.


Home / Undergraduate / Male-role models - obstacle or bump in the road in your academic or personal life
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳