Some suggestions would be appreciated, Thanks!!
About you Q1: Reasons for choosing your program and Waterloo
Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the University of Waterloo. If you have applied to more than one program, please discuss your interest in each program. (900-character limit)
At a young age, I developed a strong interest in both computer software and math, as I grow older, I am more and more fascinated with the mathematical theory of algorithms used in computer softwares, as well as the design and analysis of software. I imagine myself as someone who will not only witness, but also be a part of the accelerating technological evolution of the world, through the involvement of scientific research labs like LHC, or being part of company's research team that pushes the limits of the human race. UWaterloo's prestigious Math and Engineering Faculty will not only provide me with world class education and invaluable co-op experience, but also allow me to compete and cooperate with some of the most hard-working and intelligent people. UWaterloo acts as an arena for individuals like me to thrive through competition, giving me the skills and knowledge to reach my dream.
The essay in general responds to all questions, but I think that you should include the reason why you are interested in these programs. Besides, it seems that the essay lacks information about you because I could not imagine what kind of person you are after reading your essay - something admission officers want to find out after reading your essay.
1. You need to expand your background essay of choosing this course. You can add some example related issues of your chosen programme recently.
2. You better mention about the programme offer to you comparing to other universities offer. do not only mention about the world class education because the interviewer already know more about university teaching method.
Jimmy, the essay lacks a focus on the academic goals that led to your choice of university. There are several unimportant references in the essay that makes your response less than impressive. The best parts of this essay that you can use for your revised statement are as follows:
For academic goals:
- I imagine myself as someone who will not only witness, but also be a part of the accelerating technological evolution of the world
* Describe what your main reason for attending college as a major in this course is. What sort of part do you want to play in the technological evolution of the world? Consider this a question that is asking you "What profession do you wish to be a part of in the future?" Then relate those plans to the university laboratory and what sort of skills and research development you hope to accomplish there.
For the choice of university:
- UWaterloo's prestigious Math and Engineering Faculty ...reach my dream.
* This is a good foundation for the draft response, but should not be the actual response as it is too generic in reference. You need specifics for the Co-Op line of study, why you feel this will benefit you as a student and how the student community will function to inspire your desire to complete your studies.
The 900 character limit means you do not need to reference your childhood in this essay. Just focus on the here and now of your decision to choose this university. Based it on your current academic interests, professional goals, and comparison of other university learning tracks with Waterloo. That way you show a strong and analytical reason for opting to enroll in this university.