Math is a language and I use it to express my thoughts. Supplement essay

Hello,

I wrote a supplement and I would like feedback for the content of my essay. Thank You.

Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to you. Why will Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences be the right environment in which to pursue your interests? (Please limit your response to 650 words.)

Math fascinates me

Back in fifth grade, my hands ran through the Rubik's cube for weeks. My computer math teacher told our class that if one student in the class finished all sides of the cube, everyone would be rewarded with free computer time. With this in mind, I exercised my brain until I earned my class that free period. I solved the Rubik's cube.

Brain teasers, 1000-piece jigsaw puzzles, and challenging questions have always consumed me. Within me, there is an impersonal triumph that never changes, whether I convert a decimal to a percent or untwist the mystery in a derivative in Calculus. Math is a dazzling, creative game that captivates me because of its unambiguous answers.

When people ask, "Why math?" I tell them it is about my personality. My objectivity takes me to organized solutions, and my creativity induces new ideas and a positive mind, allowing me to thrive. I love that the world can be illustrated through the lens of math. I once read an article that the spiral in a seashell could be explained by using a math equation and shared this fact with other people I came across. I want others and myself to see the universe through these lenses.

Math is not only about integers and calculations. It is a way of thinking and understanding the world. In the future, I might use it to spell out the secrets of DNA and account for the reasons behind fatal disorders. I find math beautiful because it allows me to understand patterns and gives me an objective outlook in life. Math is a language and I use it to express my opinions and ideas.

Derived from the concepts in math, Computer Science also intrigues me. Armed with three textbooks last year, I invested in my first Java project: the Dice Program. I found it cool that every line of code fit neatly in the program like puzzle pieces.

Math is amazing. The best part is that when I finish a line of code, an equation or a brain teaser, there is another one right around the corner. And then I chase it.

I intend to major in Mathematics and minor in Computer Science. I instantly "clicked" with Cornell once I set foot on campus with my Science Olympiad team. Unlike any other school, Cornell has courses, professors, and resources to fulfill my aspirations. I want to take classes like MATH 1300: "Mathematical Explorations," MATH 3040: "Prove It!" and CS 2111: "Programming Practicum." I hope to work with professors who are in love with math as much as I am, like Marcelo Aguiar, whose goal is to build a conceptual framework for the study of Hopf algebraic structures in combinatorics and Moss E. Sweedler, whose research area is dynamical systems and complex foliations. It would be a pleasure to work with John Hubbard in tackling upper-level math, while reading his book, Vector Calculus, Linear Algebra and Differential Forms: A Unified Approach.

With my experience as a Big Sister mentor from teaching elementary students in the Students in Action team, I hope to contribute to the Cornell community by serving as a tutor for the Mathematics Support Center. I intend to take mathematics beyond the classroom, like I did with my previous students by engaging them with fun educational math games. As a Cornellian, I want to satisfy my inner nerd and graduate with a memorable college experience. With a top-notch Math department, passionate professors, tight-knit community, and great food, this won't be hard at Cornell University.

@mualla
Hello, Mualla!

As far as I see, you essay is great! It got everything. You illustrate your passion to math very clearly and quite convincing. And you also did well in saying why you choose Cornell and what you can contribute to it.

Just a few small edits.

1) "I love that the world can be illustrated through the lens of math. I once read an article that the spiral in a seashell could be explained by usin " better be " I love the fact that......"

2)When you say you are intrigued by computer science, you use only three sentences to illustrate and then turn to math again. Compared to the large part about math, your description of cs is just too short and it seems not so convincing to me. I think maybe it's better to elaborate more on your aspiration to cs.

Overall I think you write a very good essay. Good luck!

Hey Mualla, I really liked reading your essay. I hope you wont mind if I ask you to edit some.
Firstly, do not divide your essay in lines, but combine them into paragraphs.
...untwist.. <- unlock the mystery

Also, all you wrote about Maths and only 2 lines regarding computer science. Both subjects are very inter related so you can either write about them side by side or one paragraph for Maths and one for computers. Make it even. Tell more about your interest in computers, not only the project name which I guess, your CV will also include. Coming to your last paragraph why Cornell is the best college, it sounds very cliché that it clicked to you soon you entered in that campus. It happens but readers are looking for more specific answers. You mentioned about professors, that's a very good point. You can mention about how those professors or college or your course will help you to achieve your career goal? You want to tutor at center there but why? How it will help you towards your goal? You mentioned about the classes you want to take but why? You mentioned about professor's courses and books but why? Try to relate that everything with your goal. What is there in Cornell which is not in any other college? For example: if we love maths, we cant take every course in Maths, but some specific courses that interests us as we are forming a bridge to our career through that interest.

I hope to ........Center..
Cornell has opportunities for me and one of them includes tutoring in ..........This will help me to.........explore more about my interest etc.....?
Also, you did not mention much about computer Science course here. Question asked about 2 interests so try to spread them at least in ratio of 60:40. Hope this helps :)

Mualla, look into balancing the discussion in your essay. You have spent at least 80 % of the essay discussing your love for math, then 10 % discussing computer science, and another 10 % explaining why Cornell can help you better pursue your interests. You don't need to discuss your experience with the Rubik's Cube in this essay. That happened so long ago that its relevance to your current interests are no longer applicable. Your current discussion about your math interest is already acceptable without it. What is not acceptable, is the fact that computer science is such a minor discussion in this essay.

While I accept the fact that computer science will only be your minor, that does not mean that your discussion regarding this intellectual interest should be that minor as well. Consider that Math and Computer Science are practically synonymous in discussions and applications, it would be in your best interest to further develop the reasons behind your computer science intellectual interest in relation to Maths.

By discussing the two interests in a connected manner, your reason for opting to enroll at Cornell becomes almost obvious, if not a given for someone pursuing a line of study in such a complicated field. The rest of the essay about how Cornell can help you is good as it is. Now, focus on improving the intellectual interest aspect for a far greater effect on what has the potential to be a great essay.

@Holt

Holt for this supplement, I am working on another paragraph to make it all balanced. Do you think if I just expand my interest on Computer science that the supplement would be ready to go? Also, I deleted the pargraph with the rubiks cube.

Math fascinates me. There is an impersonal triumph within me that never varies, whether I solve for x in an equation or unravel the mystery in a derivative in Calculus. Math is a brilliant, creative game that captivates me because of its unequivocal answers. When people ask, "Why math?" I tell them it is about my personality. My character's orderly side draws me toward neat solutions, as my creativity induces new ideas and a positive mind, allowing me to succeed. I love that the world can be described through the lens of math. I once read an article that the spiral in a seashell could be described by using a math equation and shared this fact with other people I came across. I want others and myself to see the universe through these lenses.

Math is not just about numbers and calculations. It is a way of thinking and understanding the world. In the future, I might use it to explain the secrets of DNA or understand the cures for catastrophic diseases. I find math beautiful because it allows me to quantify relationships and understand patterns. For me, math is a language and I use it to express my thoughts and ideas.

In addition, I find Computer Science intriguing because it is derived from the concepts in math. Armed with three textbooks last year, I invested in my first Java project: the Dice Program. I found it cool that every line of code fit neatly in the program like puzzle pieces. I simply relished challenging my intellect in coding, getting lost in different approaches, scratching my head, and then saying "Aha!" Computer science is all about trying to solve a complex problem with an imagination to see the world differently. From a challenging algorithm to a glitch in a program, computer science increases my appreciation to solve problems. I taught myself algorithms and data structure, which allowed me to see how computers function. The first language I worked with was Pascal, where I wrote simple programs like calculators....

Math is amazing. The best part is that when I finish a line of code, an equation or a brain teaser, there is another one right around the corner. And then I chase it.

I intend to major in mathematics and minor in computer science. Since first setting foot (...)

Mualla, the essay is more academic in nature so the last paragraph need not be there. That paragraph speaks of an extra curricular interest that is not required information for this essay. While it does still tie in with Cornell, it doesn't represent an intellectual interest that you can pursue at the university. So end the essay with a simple 3 sentence conclusion if you can in place of the current last paragraph. The overall essay can be used to respond to the prompt once the changes I suggested have been made. It is a great improvement over the past versions and really works well towards addressing the prompt. It ties your major with your intellectual interests and therefore, solidly presents the intellectual pursuits you will have at the university.