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Writing Feedback   Posts: 4

Should we learn a foreign language? Provide your thoughts.


chiehpower 1 / 3 1  
Mar 7, 2018   #1
[ This is IELTS (Task2) practice ]

Topic:
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


foreign language knowledge is a big plus



Many people would face a question that why we should learn second language, and some people argue that learning foreign languages can help for traveling or work, despite others disagreed. In my opinion, we should not just focus on what we can use by foreign language, and that should think what we can acquire except real benefit from learning second language.

First, some people recognize why we do not use the foreign language then need to learn. In my viewpoint, we study hard and increase our knowledge that not only enhance our culture quality but also transfrom our aspect. If we study others language, we can directly read about those reference and receive a lot of special information without translating.

Second, you can make a lot of foreign friends, and exchange communication about your background. I deeply think that this experience is priceless and why you can say that it is useless before you really do it. Third, when we learn a foreign language, it does not only learn a " language ". Actually we would get more and more difference interesting influence, for instance, we will require to learning their culture and tradition because the language must merge into their own humanity.

In conclusion, I assert that people should learn foreign language and go outside to open your eyes. As you can receive achievement from using it, you will appreicate yourself that doing a correct thing.

Thanks for your reading.

yogann 1 / 1  
Mar 9, 2018   #2
Hi chiehpower,

Your essay was really good . It is better to add some real sample for paragraph 1 and 2 .

Hope it will be useful
Thanks
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,323 1847  
Mar 10, 2018   #3
chieh, your total essay is not making any sense. None of your sentence have subjects and your topic sentences per paragraph seem to be absent in every paragraph you write. There is a clear lack of coherence and cohesiveness in your presentations so that the overall essay will actually fail because it does not have enough proper representation of any of the scoring criteria to warrant a passing consideration. Your English level, based upon this presentation is nothing more than a beginner's level of understanding. Yet, you are trying to write a full essay in coherent English. That is why you failed to properly represent your thoughts in this essay. You lack the proper English know how to have been able to do so. Before you can start writing an English essay of even the simplest form, you must first, have enough knowledge and understanding of the English words, grammar presentation, and meaning. Otherwise, you end up with these types of presentation errors. Unworthy of the time that it took for you to write it. Develop your English vocabulary first. Then try to write a simple essay based on a simple essay topic. Right now, you lack the ability to do even that.
OP chiehpower 1 / 3 1  
Mar 10, 2018   #4
Thanks for your advice.
It is very helpful for me, but I think that writing the essay within 40 mins including draft and writing more than 250 words is very difficult for me.

I will try and study hard, and keep correcting my wrong, please.
Thanks.

Regards,
Chieh


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