As a part of the top ten of the graduating batch of my school, I may be thought of as a student who just studies all day. The truth is that I am the complete opposite. I am an outgoing and active student. I really do everything that a normal teen can do. I love playing different instruments such as the piano, which I have been playing for eleven years, the flute, and the guitar. I also enjoy dancing and swimming.
Math has always been my strength since I was in first grade. I have joined several competitions in math, and I never failed to get the highest grade in math. Math is my pride. I do not know how I will do in a prestigious university like UA&P, but I know that I will always do my best for this subject, not just for the sake of getting good grades, but also because I really love it. Another strength of mine is music. I started playing the piano when I was four, and now I can play a song by merely hearing it. I know that this talent is not common, and I hope that I can use this talent wisely in your university.
In the near future, I intend to be an accountant of America. I chose UA&P because I know that it is acknowledged not only in the Philippines, but also in the world. Granting me a chance to study in your university would be an honor.
The maximum number of words is 250, and this essay is exactly 250.
First, I could not get your topic of the essay you have written. Second, the content of the essay makes the reader make a negative remark on you for you've tried to show yourself the best throughout the essay. Frankly speaking, it's not good to flatter about self in the essays especially written to the admission officer. They seek for uniqueness not talent actually. There are millions of people who're good at Maths, thousands of people can play piano and of course all except some are active. Try to show what is the quality in you that no others have. Try to show them the real YOU. and I hope that works.
You can write better.
Thank you for the tips! :))
Thanks for being honest, ill try my best to write better.
As a part of the top ten of the graduating batch of my school, I may be thought of as a student who just studies all day
... I think the second part is unnecessary. Why do you want to waste your words for telling them about others' assumptions. I wish if you said that you are a well rounded person. But without making statements, it's better if you can convince them through your experiences.
I wish if you said that you are a well rounded person. But without making statements, it's better if you can convince them through your experiences.
I don't really get what you are saying,, can you give me an example?? :)
What I meant was that it's better if you said that you are good at studies and other activities equally. Just because one is good at studies, people don't assume that he is a book warm. Then what I meant was that you can tell this to the reader through an experience or an incident. For example, talk about how you watched a movie a night before the exam and still got the highest score for the subject. This may be some extreme example, yet you may be having lots of examples to cite :D
Ohhh now I get it! :)))) Thank you sooo much! :)
Please edit my essay again later. I'll post a new one
STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES- JUST THE WAY I AM
Honestly, I never expected your university to give me a chance to take the special examination for potential scholars. I am an outgoing student who does everything a normal teen can do. I love dancing, swimming, and hanging out with friends. I also love playing different instruments like the piano, flute, and guitar. Although I do all these, I manage to get good grades. For instance, there was this time when I never reviewed anything in English, but still managed to get a line of nine grade.
Math has always been my strength since I was in first grade. I do not know how I will do in a prestigious university like UA&P, but I know that I will always do my best in this subject, not just for the sake of getting good grades, but also because I really love it. Another strength of mine is music. I started playing the piano when I was four, and now I can play a song by merely hearing it. I hope that I can use this talent wisely in your university.
Science is my weakness. I hated this subject since I started studying, but I believe that UA&P will help me develop my skills in this subject.
In the future, I intend to be an accountant in America. I chose UA&P because I know that it is acknowledged not only in the Philippines, but also in the world. Granting me a chance to study in your university would be an honor.
hanyoojung
Hi
In my view, you write quite well, but you need to take some important advices and you will be great.
I mention some advices based on what ETS people like to see about an essay:
First, try to write 4 or 5 paragraphs. You have written 3 paragraphs.
Second, word count is important. According to Joseph Miranda if you write 450-500 words, your score probably is around 27-30, if you write 350-450 words, your score probably will be around 22-26, and if you write 250-350 words, your score probably will be around 17-21. You have written 250 word.
Third, try to use a standard format.
Second, word count is important. According to Joseph Miranda if you write 450-500 words, your score probably is around 27-30, if you write 350-450 words, your score probably will be around 22-26, and if you write 250-350 words, your score probably will be around 17-21. You have written 250 word
thanks for the tips but this essay is for UA&P and the maximum number of words is 250. Can you give other tips? :)
I am not sure if this will help but you might look at this. Has 5 paragraphs and is exactly 250 words exactly. Just my input
I am honored your university has given me a chance to take the special examination for potential scholars. I am an outgoing student who does everything a normal teen can do. I love dancing, swimming, and hanging out with friends. I also love playing different instruments like the piano, flute, and guitar. Although I enjoy these, I realize the importance of my education. For instance, there was this time I barely reviewed anything in English, but still managed to get a line of nine grade.
Math has always been a subject I have loved since I was in first grade. I know that I will always do my best in this subject and not just for the sake of getting good grades, but also because I really love it.
Another strength I have is music. I have been playing the piano since I was four. I can now play a song by merely hearing it. I hope that I can use this talent at your university.
Science has been a weakness. I have struggled with Science since I started studying. I believe that UA&P will help me develop my skills in Science.
My goals for the future is to be an accountant in America. I am sure the curriculum at UA&P will help me master this subject. I chose UA&P because I know that it is acknowledged not only in the Philippines, but also in the world. Granting me a chance to study at your university would be an honor.
Thank you!!
Hi
It's always good to have your prompt included so that others get to know exactly what they expect from you. So we can provide you with more relevant comments :)
For instance, there was this time when I never reviewed anything in English, but still managed to get a line of nine grade.
... why did you say " when I never reviewed anything in English" ? I guess you tried to mean something else, but it has not come right :(
Hi Duminda Could you please check my essay as well.Again I have started preparing for IELTS. Thanks.