"If you could meet a character from a book or a historical figure..." College Supplement Prompt

This is a short answer prompt for one of my college supplements. I'm not sure if I answered the prompt correctly in a way that helps admissions officers gain a better view of me. I'm also not sure as to how to do that when answering this prompt. Thanks for any assistance!

If you could meet a character from a book or a historical figure, who would it be and what would you ask them?

(200-word limit)

In my quantum computing course, the most fascinating topic I have learned about so far is the Pauli computing gates. It is for that reason, I would be delighted to meet the famous physicist Wolfgang Ernest Pauli.

Wolfgang Pauli not only has one of the coolest names in history but his achievements in the field of quantum are quite amazing. I'd definitely ask Pauli about his work on quantum mechanics and subjects I loved learning about such as Pauli matrices and the Pauli exclusion principle.

Yet, while asking about these things would teach me much, I think I would also look forward to discovering Wolfgang Pauli's character.

Pauli was known to be a perfectionist but also a humorous person. I'd be very excited to hear a joke from him while also learn why perfection was so vital to him in the field he studied. I would also ask about his everyday thought process and how he tackles a problem.

I think I overall would like a fun conversation mixed with inquiries about his research. I would certainly not forget to ask him about the Pauli effect, an unusual tendency of scientific equipment to break when he was present.

(198 words)

The response is appropriate for the task. You have managed to show the reviewer that you have a real interest in your course, the basis for that interest, and how you might develop yourself as a student in the future. There is a balance of academic interest and social development in the presentation. You have successfully balanced your personality presentation in the essay so I would not worry about meeting the prompt requirement. You did it. The response is good. You accomplished what you set out to do, which is help the reviewer get a better understanding of who you are and if you know how to see the lighter side of your interest in your college major.

I would not ask you to change anything, nor would I ask you to add any information. The task has been met. If anything, you should just focus on polishing the presentation and reviewing any possible grammar errors or presentation improvements. Otherwise, I consider this essay in its final form, as is. You may want to change the contractions though. It makes the essay too informal. It is still an academic piece of writing after all.