A few of my Stanford supplements, presented out of order. I'm having difficulty choosing between my two roommate essays, which are similar but still different.
* * *
Dear roommate,
Please don't throw away the mess on my desk. I realize that it's a bit of an eyesore at the moment. Once I've finished assembling everything, we'll be able to have a picnic in the park! You bring the sandwiches - make mine vegan, please! - and I'll bring the plates and utensils in my suitcase.
It won't be just a suitcase, however. I'm attaching some foldable leg joints, so it can stand up like a table. And I'm disassembling some computer speakers - that's what all those wires are - to turn the whole thing into a portable music player.
Speaking of music, I'm going to be performing a tribute to Duke Ellington with that band I formed last week. You know, the one I formed with that Philosophy major and the Math major. We're calling ourselves "Forever Jung." That, or "Kant Touch This." The Math major didn't get any say.
You should come, it's going to be loads of fun. We're going to do a midnight demonstration after the show, to rally for universal healthcare and equal education for all. I'm not promising anything, but we might also make a few jokes at the Tea Party's expense. Just a few. All in good taste, of course. Hey, and maybe you can bring those speakers-in-a-suitcase!
Love, your roommate.
PS: The computer speakers were yours. Sorry about that. You can choose the music.
* * *
Dear future roommate:
I humbly offer my apologies. I haven't done anything yet, but believe you me, I will.
If you ever find that I have hijacked your computer speakers, I apologize. I probably reconfigured them into a suitcase to forge a portable set of speakers. I would like to say sorry in advance for the late-night runs to the hardware store, and the heaps of screws and bolts lying around as a result.
My alarm is set to ring obnoxiously and repeatedly at 5:30 AM in the morning, every morning. Whether I wake up promptly is dubious. I have the incredible ability to sleep through nearly anything. I may have also hidden it in the back of the closet, so one of us will be forced to get up and turn it off manually.
You will learn to sail, or at least accompany me on my sails. You will know the difference between port and starboard. You will know that sailing by the lee is dangerous. "All hands on deck" will become a regular greeting between us.
If you return one day from class and find your solid, sturdy dorm bed and desk replaced with spindly furniture with names like Pax and Bjork, you can blame me and my completely un-ironic love for IKEA. I will drag you there every weekend. You will be proficient in Swedish by the end of the year. You may twitch uncontrollably whenever you encounter meatballs.
I may sing Frank Sinatra songs in my sleep. This is normal. I may also attempt to hold conversations and debates with you, all while asleep. If my parents' books are correct, this is my subconscious speaking. Feel free to converse with it, but take nothing it says seriously.
As long as you heed these warnings, I am certain we will have an excellent first year together!
Love, Nimitha.
* * *
Five words: Which one is best?
1) I am secretly a wizard
2) Hogwarts sent me a letter
3) Amateur inventor, music enthusiast, Francophile
4) I might occasionally break the rules
5) Might be numerically disinclined and
Thank you for your advice in advance.
* * *
Dear roommate,
Please don't throw away the mess on my desk. I realize that it's a bit of an eyesore at the moment. Once I've finished assembling everything, we'll be able to have a picnic in the park! You bring the sandwiches - make mine vegan, please! - and I'll bring the plates and utensils in my suitcase.
It won't be just a suitcase, however. I'm attaching some foldable leg joints, so it can stand up like a table. And I'm disassembling some computer speakers - that's what all those wires are - to turn the whole thing into a portable music player.
Speaking of music, I'm going to be performing a tribute to Duke Ellington with that band I formed last week. You know, the one I formed with that Philosophy major and the Math major. We're calling ourselves "Forever Jung." That, or "Kant Touch This." The Math major didn't get any say.
You should come, it's going to be loads of fun. We're going to do a midnight demonstration after the show, to rally for universal healthcare and equal education for all. I'm not promising anything, but we might also make a few jokes at the Tea Party's expense. Just a few. All in good taste, of course. Hey, and maybe you can bring those speakers-in-a-suitcase!
Love, your roommate.
PS: The computer speakers were yours. Sorry about that. You can choose the music.
* * *
Dear future roommate:
I humbly offer my apologies. I haven't done anything yet, but believe you me, I will.
If you ever find that I have hijacked your computer speakers, I apologize. I probably reconfigured them into a suitcase to forge a portable set of speakers. I would like to say sorry in advance for the late-night runs to the hardware store, and the heaps of screws and bolts lying around as a result.
My alarm is set to ring obnoxiously and repeatedly at 5:30 AM in the morning, every morning. Whether I wake up promptly is dubious. I have the incredible ability to sleep through nearly anything. I may have also hidden it in the back of the closet, so one of us will be forced to get up and turn it off manually.
You will learn to sail, or at least accompany me on my sails. You will know the difference between port and starboard. You will know that sailing by the lee is dangerous. "All hands on deck" will become a regular greeting between us.
If you return one day from class and find your solid, sturdy dorm bed and desk replaced with spindly furniture with names like Pax and Bjork, you can blame me and my completely un-ironic love for IKEA. I will drag you there every weekend. You will be proficient in Swedish by the end of the year. You may twitch uncontrollably whenever you encounter meatballs.
I may sing Frank Sinatra songs in my sleep. This is normal. I may also attempt to hold conversations and debates with you, all while asleep. If my parents' books are correct, this is my subconscious speaking. Feel free to converse with it, but take nothing it says seriously.
As long as you heed these warnings, I am certain we will have an excellent first year together!
Love, Nimitha.
* * *
Five words: Which one is best?
1) I am secretly a wizard
2) Hogwarts sent me a letter
3) Amateur inventor, music enthusiast, Francophile
4) I might occasionally break the rules
5) Might be numerically disinclined and
Thank you for your advice in advance.
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