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(mess on my desk) roommate essay + (my apologies) five words that describe you



ctchrssmnky 2 / 17  
Dec 23, 2011   #1
A few of my Stanford supplements, presented out of order. I'm having difficulty choosing between my two roommate essays, which are similar but still different.

* * *

Dear roommate,

Please don't throw away the mess on my desk. I realize that it's a bit of an eyesore at the moment. Once I've finished assembling everything, we'll be able to have a picnic in the park! You bring the sandwiches - make mine vegan, please! - and I'll bring the plates and utensils in my suitcase.

It won't be just a suitcase, however. I'm attaching some foldable leg joints, so it can stand up like a table. And I'm disassembling some computer speakers - that's what all those wires are - to turn the whole thing into a portable music player.

Speaking of music, I'm going to be performing a tribute to Duke Ellington with that band I formed last week. You know, the one I formed with that Philosophy major and the Math major. We're calling ourselves "Forever Jung." That, or "Kant Touch This." The Math major didn't get any say.

You should come, it's going to be loads of fun. We're going to do a midnight demonstration after the show, to rally for universal healthcare and equal education for all. I'm not promising anything, but we might also make a few jokes at the Tea Party's expense. Just a few. All in good taste, of course. Hey, and maybe you can bring those speakers-in-a-suitcase!

Love, your roommate.

PS: The computer speakers were yours. Sorry about that. You can choose the music.

* * *

Dear future roommate:

I humbly offer my apologies. I haven't done anything yet, but believe you me, I will.

If you ever find that I have hijacked your computer speakers, I apologize. I probably reconfigured them into a suitcase to forge a portable set of speakers. I would like to say sorry in advance for the late-night runs to the hardware store, and the heaps of screws and bolts lying around as a result.

My alarm is set to ring obnoxiously and repeatedly at 5:30 AM in the morning, every morning. Whether I wake up promptly is dubious. I have the incredible ability to sleep through nearly anything. I may have also hidden it in the back of the closet, so one of us will be forced to get up and turn it off manually.

You will learn to sail, or at least accompany me on my sails. You will know the difference between port and starboard. You will know that sailing by the lee is dangerous. "All hands on deck" will become a regular greeting between us.

If you return one day from class and find your solid, sturdy dorm bed and desk replaced with spindly furniture with names like Pax and Bjork, you can blame me and my completely un-ironic love for IKEA. I will drag you there every weekend. You will be proficient in Swedish by the end of the year. You may twitch uncontrollably whenever you encounter meatballs.

I may sing Frank Sinatra songs in my sleep. This is normal. I may also attempt to hold conversations and debates with you, all while asleep. If my parents' books are correct, this is my subconscious speaking. Feel free to converse with it, but take nothing it says seriously.

As long as you heed these warnings, I am certain we will have an excellent first year together!

Love, Nimitha.

* * *

Five words: Which one is best?

1) I am secretly a wizard
2) Hogwarts sent me a letter
3) Amateur inventor, music enthusiast, Francophile
4) I might occasionally break the rules
5) Might be numerically disinclined and

Thank you for your advice in advance.

menukagrg 7 / 88  
Dec 23, 2011   #2
God, I absolutely LOVED both essays. They seriously had me laughing and it's 2 in the morning so consider it as an achievement. :) If i had to choose one, i would go with the latter one but i really love "Kant touch this" bit the best. Try mixing up both in one letter. I would have loved to get a letter like this from my wouldbe roomate.

Also, i am torn apart between 2nd and 5th. Really can't choose between these two.

Seriously, best of luck. :)
ZhoeK 5 / 157  
Dec 23, 2011   #3
Nimintha

LOL. I loved both of your essays, so perfectly comedic while still unfolding tidbits of your personality. I think the second one will be a better choice. Couldn't really find any major grammar errors.

Just brilliant I really love em! I'd like to be your roommate definitely.

allalso while asleepI sleep .

I like I might occasionally break the rules, but that could give the wrong impression.
Not every admission reader might know what Hogwarts is...so you probably shouldn't with that one either.
Does it have to the a clause or can it literally be five, independent words?

Hope this helps & Good Luck! I would love it if you took a look at any of my essays! Thanks!
Rajman333 2 / 15  
Dec 23, 2011   #4
Nimitha, I loved both your essays, and although it was extremely hard to choose, I think i like the first essay better. I agree with the previous comments, and you essay(s) portray you as a dream roommate.

I'm also applying to Stanford, but I didn't know that we we could have five phrases instead of words. Regardless, i thought the first and second ones were great, because I like to tell myself those things as well.
ChihiroLavi 4 / 52  
Dec 24, 2011   #5
Well written ~
About the five words, I'm also working on Stanford essays and I presume we could use five separate words rather than a phrase. Anyway, I like the first and the second one.

Hope this could help.
MichaelJ 1 / 7  
Dec 24, 2011   #6
You're essay were absolutely amazing! I prefer the first one simply because it's written slightly better and the humor is great.


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