So this is prompt #1 from UC applications which is : Describe the world you come from-for example, your family, community, or school- and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I want to know if my personal essay addresses the prompt, and if there are any changes you suggest that may help. Thank you!!
Oh! Also, if you guys can help me on my conclusion I am really stuck!! Thank you again! So much!
Growing up in a Mexican-American community where single parent homes and poverty is very common has not always been easy. I have continuously seen children and young adults choose to go through the wrong paths because of the lack of support. Many are influenced into gang affiliation and drug use. Fortunately, my family has always been there to guide me through the right and help me stay out of trouble.
My parents migrated to the United States over 20 years ago in search for opportunity, and to provide children a chance to live the life they never could. As a child coming from a world of poverty, my father was raised in a home with a widow father who remarried and spent very little or no time with his children. But despite the circumstances, he managed to keep his head up and though times were rough, he managed to stay on the road of success. Having nobody as support or inspiration, he finished high school, went on to a university, and studied animal science. Sadly, as he and my mother arrived to the United States it was a very harsh struggle for them from the lack of money. Although my father was a veterinarian, his services were not of any use in the United States since he did not know how to speak English. All the hard work he put into school and all the studying was as if it had gone to waste, but he sacrificed all that he had in search for better opportunities for his children.
My father gave away too much for it to be thrown away, which is the reason I feel the need to take advantage of all the opportunities I was given. I plan to follow his footsteps, to continue my studies after high school and become a veterinarian as well. My passion for animals has been immense; it is something I knew I wanted to work with as a child. So far, my three eldest siblings have managed to reach for success in college which is also something I plan to achieve. The fact that all my siblings have done very well in college adds pressure on me to do the same or better. The pressure that I have also makes me very motivated to start my own path and have the chance to make my parents proud. It has made me a very ambitious person; my family has given me all the support possible and has inspired me to do the best of my ability.
Although my parents did not arrive at the best community, they managed to provide us with better opportunities.
I want to know if my personal essay addresses the prompt, and if there are any changes you suggest that may help. Thank you!!
Oh! Also, if you guys can help me on my conclusion I am really stuck!! Thank you again! So much!
Growing up in a Mexican-American community where single parent homes and poverty is very common has not always been easy. I have continuously seen children and young adults choose to go through the wrong paths because of the lack of support. Many are influenced into gang affiliation and drug use. Fortunately, my family has always been there to guide me through the right and help me stay out of trouble.
My parents migrated to the United States over 20 years ago in search for opportunity, and to provide children a chance to live the life they never could. As a child coming from a world of poverty, my father was raised in a home with a widow father who remarried and spent very little or no time with his children. But despite the circumstances, he managed to keep his head up and though times were rough, he managed to stay on the road of success. Having nobody as support or inspiration, he finished high school, went on to a university, and studied animal science. Sadly, as he and my mother arrived to the United States it was a very harsh struggle for them from the lack of money. Although my father was a veterinarian, his services were not of any use in the United States since he did not know how to speak English. All the hard work he put into school and all the studying was as if it had gone to waste, but he sacrificed all that he had in search for better opportunities for his children.
My father gave away too much for it to be thrown away, which is the reason I feel the need to take advantage of all the opportunities I was given. I plan to follow his footsteps, to continue my studies after high school and become a veterinarian as well. My passion for animals has been immense; it is something I knew I wanted to work with as a child. So far, my three eldest siblings have managed to reach for success in college which is also something I plan to achieve. The fact that all my siblings have done very well in college adds pressure on me to do the same or better. The pressure that I have also makes me very motivated to start my own path and have the chance to make my parents proud. It has made me a very ambitious person; my family has given me all the support possible and has inspired me to do the best of my ability.
Although my parents did not arrive at the best community, they managed to provide us with better opportunities.
