Hi everyone. I tried my best to write the essay for Rice. English is not my first language. So, You may find a lot grammatical errors or organization problem. Please let me know if it's ok or not and if I have to add more. Thank you.
Rice Essay: The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Most applicants are able to respond successfully in two to three double-spaced pages.)
Essay: Typical middle-class Asian Bengali American of Long-Island best describes me. My family moved to the USA last year. So, basically I faced an extreme deference of culture which affected my every single step. One the other hand this change of culture gave me something that I never had before. The traditional classical music of America helped me to acknowledge the culture of the USA, which was quite impossible without it. Music and Bengali culture is a big part of my life, so naturally I find that a lot of the traits making me Susmita are evident in the forms of music I love.
"Music is my life, it is a reflection of what I go through," the quote of Lenny Kravitz helped me to understand what I am. My music is a reflection of me and my tradition that I brought from Bangladesh. At the age of 5, my mother discovered me singing. The musical journey through my culture brought to pass from that time. Asian-Bengali culture is one of the most ancient cultures of world's history. Religious believe and tradition plays the lead role of Bengali society. From a very early age I learned about Bengali culture through my first step in classical songs. I participated in a classical song competition for the first time at the age of 11. Impressing the judges I received the first prize. One of the judges came along to me and said, "I want to see you as a renowned classical singer one day." From that day the passion of music revolved in me, and I learned to be passionate about anything. I have competed many competitions where I attained the traits such as being responsible, fighting challenges, striving for the excellence, and these traits helped me to be a skillful competitor as well as a good human being. Singing, isn't just a huge part of my schedule, it's a huge part of me. I have put time and effort into learning the different music. The culture of Bengali society as well as American society helped me to develop as a determinate, passionate, disciplined and responsible person in life trough music. These traits of me allow me to enjoy life.
My perspective of studying engineering has the impacts of my culture. "Knowledge defines one's strength" this proverb of Hinduism, the religion that I have faith in, is a guide of my way to be excellent. This created a passion for learning progressively in me. The religious and traditional festivals also have significant influences in my life which accomplished a strong personality of me. "Dewali," which is also known as the festival of lights, represents hopes, is my most favorite religious festival. I'm from a culture, which teaches its tribe to be disciplined in life. In one piece of my life I learned to be disciplined. The enthusiasm of learning new increased my desire for knowledge.
Music is the reflection of my culture and tradition, and my culture and tradition is the refection of who I am. It's been a year since I left Bangladesh, but the effect of that glorious culture has preserved the traits of being a good person in life. When I came in touch of American culture, I observed the beauty of world's culture. I joined the piano class to learn more about this culture. While taking the time to fulfill my responsibilities, I will always save some time to do the things I love, like singing or playing piano.
Rice University is one of the most renowned universities in the USA. The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. Music and Bengali culture are some crucial factor of my mindset. I will be honored to contribute my culture with such prestigious university as Rice.
Essay: Typical middle-class Asian Bengali American of Long-Island best describes me. My family moved to the USA last year. This meant that I faced an extreme difference of culture which affected my every single step. However, this change of culture gave me something that I never had before. The traditional classical music of America helped me to understand the culture of the USA, which would have been quite difficult otherwise. Music and Bengali culture is a big part of my life, so naturally I find that a lot of the traits making me Susmita are evident in the forms of music I love. [what does Susmita mean? I am a bit confused here]
"Music is my life, it is a reflection of what I go through," - this quote of Lenny Kravitz helped me to understand what I am. My music is a reflection of me and my tradition that I brought from Bangladesh. At the age of 5, my mother discovered me singing. The musical journey through my culture brought to pass from that time. Asian-Bengali culture is one of the most ancient cultures of world's history. Religious belief and tradition plays the lead role in Bengali society. From a very early age I learned about Bengali culture through my classical songs. I participated in a classical song competition for the first time at the age of 11. Impressing the judges, I received the first prize. One of the judges came along to me and said, "I want to see you as a renowned classical singer one day." Since that day, the passion of music grew in me, and contributed to my passion for everything. I have competed in many competitions where I developed such traits as being responsible, overcoming challenges, and striving excellence, which have helped me to become a skillful competitor as well as a good human being. Singing, isn't just a huge part of my schedule; it's a huge part of me. I have put time and effort into learning the different music. The culture of Bengali society as well as American society helped me to develop as a determinate, passionate, disciplined and responsible person. These traits of me allow me to enjoy life.
My perspective of studying engineering has the impacts of my culture. "Knowledge defines one's strength." This proverb, which comes from Hinduism, the religion that I have faith in, is a guide of my way to be excellent. This created a passion for learning progressively in me. The religious and traditional festivals of Hinduism also have significant influences in my life and have shaped my strong personality. "Dewali," which is also known as the festival of lights, represents hope, and is my favorite religious festival. I'm from a culture which teaches its tribe to be disciplined in life. My enthusiasm for learning new things has increased my desire for knowledge.
Music is the reflection of my culture and tradition, and my culture and tradition is the refection of who I am. It's been a year since I left Bangladesh, but the effect of that glorious culture has been preserved through my desired to be a good person in life. When I came in touch with American culture, I was introduced to the diverse beauty of different cultures all around the world. I joined a piano class to learn more about this culture. While taking the time to fulfill my responsibilities, I will always save some time to do the things I love, like singing or playing piano.
Rice University is one of the most renowned universities in the USA. The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. Music and Bengali culture are some crucial factors of my mindset, and I will be honored to contribute them to such a prestigious university as Rice.
I like your essay! You are obviously very passionate about your culture and music. However, it is a bit hard to understand what you are trying to say at times. I tried to improve some of your grammar errors and awkward wording.
It is a good essay overall, and I can see your passion in music and your unique culture.
Same as Stephanie's comments, I wish it could be a little bit more fluent to read.
It is a good essay!
I'm applying to Rice also, it will be nice if you could come look at my Rice suppliment essay (culture &experiences)
Good luck to both of us!~
Not a bad essay. Your content is very good. you just have to improve the grammar and structure. I have helped as much as I can. Above is a correction and restructure of your essay. It is what I think will make it better.
I am best described as a typical middle-class Bengali american of long-island. My family moved to the USA last year. So, basically I faced an extreme deference of culture which affected my every step. One the other hand, this change of culture gave me something that I never had before. The traditional classical music of America helped me to acknowledge the culture of the USA, which was quite impossible without it. Music and Bengali culture is a big part of my life, so naturally I find that a lot of the traits making me Susmita are evident in the forms of music I love.
"Music is my life, it is a reflection of what I go through," the quote of Lenny Kravitz helped me to understand what I am. My music is a reflection of me and my tradition that I brought from Bangladesh. At the age of 5, my mother discovered me singing. The musical journey through my culture came to pass from that time. Asian-Bengali culture is one of the most ancient cultures of world's history. Religious beliefs and tradition play the lead role of Bengali society. From a very early age I learned about Bengali culture through my first step in classical music. I participated in a classical song competition for the first time at the age of 11, impressing the judges and receiving first prize. One of the judges came to me and said, "I want to see you as a renowned classical singer one day." From that day the passion of music revolved in me, and I learnt to be passionate about anything. I have competed in many competitions where I attained traits such as being responsible, fighting challenges, striving for excellence, and these traits helped me to be a skillful competitor as well as a better human being. Singing isn't just a huge part of my schedule, it's a huge part of me. I have put time and effort into learning different music. The culture of Bengali society as well as American society helped me to develop as a determinate, passionate, disciplined and responsible person in life trough music. These traits of mine allow me to enjoy life.
My perspective of studying engineering has the impacts of my culture. "Knowledge defines one's strength" this proverb of Hinduism, the religion that I have faith in, is a guide of my way to excellence. This created a passion for learning progressively in me. The religious and traditional festivals I have experienced also have significant influences in my life which accomplished a strong personality of me. "Dewali," which is also known as the festival of lights, represents hope and this is my most favorite religious festival. I'm from a culture which teaches to be disciplined in life. In one piece of my life I learned to be disciplined. The enthusiasm of learning new things increased my desire for knowledge.
Music is the reflection of my culture and tradition, and my culture and tradition is the refection of who I am. It's been a year since I left Bangladesh, but the effect of that glorious culture has preserved the traits of being a good person in life. When I came in touch with the American culture, I observed the beauty of this culture. I joined the piano class to learn more about this culture. While taking the time to fulfill my responsibilities, I will always save some time to do the things I love, like singing or playing piano.
Rice University is one of the most renowned universities in the USA. The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. Music and Bengali culture are some crucial factor of my mindset. I will be honored to contribute my culture and experiences to such a prestigious university as Rice.
Not a bad essay. Your content is very good. you just have to improve the grammar and structure. I have helped as much as I can. Above is a correction and restructure of your essay. It is what I think will make it better.
asdf 7878, Susmita is my name.
Thank you 4151yhh and enodebe for your feedback.
thank you all
Your essay looks great! You definitely have an interesting background. That will make you stand out!
