One day my mom asked me,"If you grow up what will you do?" ,when i was 9.I answered, "I wouldn't know".She frowned.'What did you say?,some of the children are planned they're future,so what did you do?".
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My mom is my real teacher; "If you grow up what will you do?"
Hello my edits and suggestions are below,
One day my mom asked me,"If you grow up what will you do?" ,when i (I) was 9(nine). I answered, "I wouldn't know". She frowned. 'What did you say?,some of the children are planned they're future,so what did you do?" ( This sentence is a little unclear, who is still speaking your mom? Make this clearer by writing something like, my mom said after this sentence.) . She alwayssaid told to me be brave, (and to )be kind to everything that lives. Her warmth and affection gave me a great sense <( add a word after sense like of affection, of love, or of hard work) . She taught me what is humanity what humanity is. I learned everything from her. Now i'm( I am) 13 ( thirteen). Now (I am )always trying to study hard. This is my big gift from my mother.
Last sentence...Is the gift to your mother or from your mother?)
Write:
If it is from your mother write: 'Studying'... is a big gift from my mother.
If it is to your mother write: 'Studying'... is a big gift to my mother.
Hi! This is a great start! Make sure you capitalize your I's and spell out your numbers( write out nine instead of 9). Also make spaces after each period before a new sentence begins, so your paragraph flows more. When you are not using dialogue ("speaking") spell out all contractions (I'm). I liked reading this, I can feel your compassion for your mom in the paragraph. Good luck!
One day my mom asked me,"If you grow up what will you do?" ,when i (I) was 9(nine). I answered, "I wouldn't know". She frowned. 'What did you say?,some of the children are planned they're future,so what did you do?" ( This sentence is a little unclear, who is still speaking your mom? Make this clearer by writing something like, my mom said after this sentence.) . She always
Last sentence...Is the gift to your mother or from your mother?)
Write:
If it is from your mother write: 'Studying'... is a big gift from my mother.
If it is to your mother write: 'Studying'... is a big gift to my mother.
Hi! This is a great start! Make sure you capitalize your I's and spell out your numbers( write out nine instead of 9). Also make spaces after each period before a new sentence begins, so your paragraph flows more. When you are not using dialogue ("speaking") spell out all contractions (I'm). I liked reading this, I can feel your compassion for your mom in the paragraph. Good luck!
