Hello! I am a student applying to UCLA, Berkeley and Santa Barbara from the UK...If anyone could help me with my first attempt at my admissions essay I would be very, very appreciative! It's a bit of a strange concept to me and am worried of not being on the right wavelength...
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Morocco, 2000.
Hands pressed forcefully against the thick glass, I noticed the shameful tears pool and spill onto my lap. I wiped them away hurriedly, my face growing hot. I watched my knuckles turn white against the window, foolishly, as if their pressure could break the glass that separated 'us' from 'them'. Us; in our shamelessly immaculate white taxi cab...them; some sitting by the dusty roadside, some outside dilapidated houses with corrugated iron roofs, eyes glancing wearily up at our painfully incongruous vehicle that practically screamed 'rich tourist'. We sat, eyes averted, feigning blissful ignorance towards the knocks on the windows, the pleas for a few pennies as we slowed at a junction, on our way to a place where we would be sheltered, protected from this world our consciousnesses didn't want us to see. It was clear the barrier was hardly confined to the physical, the glass through which I stared with a hollow feeling in the depths of my stomach, a confused guilt, which in that moment, helped define me as the person I am today. This was my first real exposure to injustice, and it is one that has stuck firmly with me ever since.
I am proud that my experience travelling as a younger child has inspired me to take control of my life and realise the potential of the individual, to 'be the change you want to see in the world.' I am very aware that claiming to be worthy, compassionate and empathetic to the plight of others holds very little merit unless one chooses to act on those feelings. It seems slightly hollow and self-indulgent to claim passion towards a cause whilst doing nothing to support it. It is to this end that I chose to take a year out after school to explore ways in which I could use my ability in languages and confidence in travelling alone to make what little difference I could to the lives of others. In a week I will be headed for Brazil, where I will be starting my journey by volunteering in a favella school in Salvador that is in great need of volunteers. I will be continuing to Mexico and Africa after Christmas, returning in June 2010. The prospect of using my ability in Spanish to teach English in Mexico will only increase my passion for the subject, especially where the ability to speak English is invaluable in giving children living on the streets a greater chance of finding employment. I will then help with manual work and teach English and AIDS/HIV Education Programs in Zimbabwe and Kenya, in villages which depend on volunteer support to create a sustainable micro-economy to help them survive, and hopefully to reduce this dependency in time and become self sufficient.
My decision to spend a year travelling solo appeals to my love for adventure (addiction is perhaps more accurate), culture and desire to learn as much from the world around me as I can. It is also linked closely with my choice of degree. I plan on majoring in Spanish and Economics, a combination which will allow me in the future to work within charitable organizations in South America, particularly in the area of promoting microfinance- something which I passionately believe is a key part of alleviating poverty. To this end I have also started studying Brazilian Portuguese in my free time and wish to reach fluency by the time I finish university. I will also be doing a work placement at an advertising agency in Barcelona in July in order to gain a better insight into the economic workings of a business, and to improve my Spanish further.
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Morocco, 2000.
Hands pressed forcefully against the thick glass, I noticed the shameful tears pool and spill onto my lap. I wiped them away hurriedly, my face growing hot. I watched my knuckles turn white against the window, foolishly, as if their pressure could break the glass that separated 'us' from 'them'. Us; in our shamelessly immaculate white taxi cab...them; some sitting by the dusty roadside, some outside dilapidated houses with corrugated iron roofs, eyes glancing wearily up at our painfully incongruous vehicle that practically screamed 'rich tourist'. We sat, eyes averted, feigning blissful ignorance towards the knocks on the windows, the pleas for a few pennies as we slowed at a junction, on our way to a place where we would be sheltered, protected from this world our consciousnesses didn't want us to see. It was clear the barrier was hardly confined to the physical, the glass through which I stared with a hollow feeling in the depths of my stomach, a confused guilt, which in that moment, helped define me as the person I am today. This was my first real exposure to injustice, and it is one that has stuck firmly with me ever since.
I am proud that my experience travelling as a younger child has inspired me to take control of my life and realise the potential of the individual, to 'be the change you want to see in the world.' I am very aware that claiming to be worthy, compassionate and empathetic to the plight of others holds very little merit unless one chooses to act on those feelings. It seems slightly hollow and self-indulgent to claim passion towards a cause whilst doing nothing to support it. It is to this end that I chose to take a year out after school to explore ways in which I could use my ability in languages and confidence in travelling alone to make what little difference I could to the lives of others. In a week I will be headed for Brazil, where I will be starting my journey by volunteering in a favella school in Salvador that is in great need of volunteers. I will be continuing to Mexico and Africa after Christmas, returning in June 2010. The prospect of using my ability in Spanish to teach English in Mexico will only increase my passion for the subject, especially where the ability to speak English is invaluable in giving children living on the streets a greater chance of finding employment. I will then help with manual work and teach English and AIDS/HIV Education Programs in Zimbabwe and Kenya, in villages which depend on volunteer support to create a sustainable micro-economy to help them survive, and hopefully to reduce this dependency in time and become self sufficient.
My decision to spend a year travelling solo appeals to my love for adventure (addiction is perhaps more accurate), culture and desire to learn as much from the world around me as I can. It is also linked closely with my choice of degree. I plan on majoring in Spanish and Economics, a combination which will allow me in the future to work within charitable organizations in South America, particularly in the area of promoting microfinance- something which I passionately believe is a key part of alleviating poverty. To this end I have also started studying Brazilian Portuguese in my free time and wish to reach fluency by the time I finish university. I will also be doing a work placement at an advertising agency in Barcelona in July in order to gain a better insight into the economic workings of a business, and to improve my Spanish further.
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