University of Kentucky. Essay Question: "Write an essay as if you were applying for this award that describes a challenge or obstacle you have overcome on your educational journey"
Also I have no clue how to end this! Any suggestions?
"Alexis, do you know you probably won't be graduating at this rate? Don't you want to be somebody? Don't you want to be successful?" I sighed as I sat in my mother's dental office with my arms folded across my chest and eyes rolled to the ceiling. It was something I heard from my mother literally all the time so it went through one ear and out the other. It was the middle of my 8th grade year and I was failing 2 classes.
My mother immigrated to the United States from Trinidad when she was fresh out of high school and never attended college. With the lack of a college degree, she subsequently found it hard to find a steady paying job that could support us, a family of 7. It took longer than it had to, but eventually she became a dental assistant. For that very reason, education meant a lot to her for she didn't want her children to struggle with finding a job as she did.
On the morning of May 27th, 2011 my life drastically changed. As I got ready for school, I heard my mother complain that her chest was bothering her. The pain was so intense that she decided that we should go to the hospital. Just as we reached the front door, my mother collapsed. She had suffered a heart attack. My mother fought for her life and was in and out of a coma for 3 days when God decided it was time for her to come home. After the death of my mother I fell into a deep depression. My mother wasn't going to be there when I needed someone to talk to, she wasn't going to be there to hug me when I was down, and she wasn't going to be there to motivate and push me to work harder in school. With my 8th grade graduation falling a month away, I seriously doubted that I could make it through those next couple of weeks. I was so close to giving up when one night I had a dream. In that dream, I was strutting across the stage in a white robe, diploma in hand. Looking into the audience I saw my mother screaming in the first row, "That's my baby! I knew you could do it." I woke up the next morning being strongly determined to graduate and to make my mom proud. In June 2011, barely 1 month after my mother's death, I graduated Junior High School.
Alexis, it would seem that although you are presenting a creative story, and that is what it is, a story, it does not feel like a real event like Joshua said, you have not made any point that allows you present an obstacle or challenge in your life. Unless your mother's death caused you to fail in school or affected you negatively and you are willing to discuss that in your essay, then you chose the wrong topic to discuss. An obstacle would be racial discrimination, lack of funds to achieve a dream or ambition and still being accomplish what you want to, or even failing to do something because you were not prepared to do it and then eventually succeeding in it after trying numerous times. This essay is currently an exercise in creative writing and nothing more. I suggest you reflect on the challenges you have faced in your life and choose one of those experiences to discuss in the essay provided it is a true challenge or obstacle that you had to overcome.
