Why I'm not motivated in highschool

I applied to computer science at the university of Waterloo and I'm kinda scared that my answer doesn't make sense or shows that I'm a bad student or something. Please give feedback!

Btw these two questions are closely related and are in conjunction so they both need to be read. Thanks!

AIF ADMISSION QUESTIONS

Question 1 Circumstances Are there any issues or circumstances (e.g., medical, personal, or financial) that may have affected your academic record? If YES, please describe the circumstances in detail below. We are particularly interested in issues or circumstances that directly affected your academic performance and that led to a rise or drop in grades or to changes in your academic or personal goals. (900 character limit)

Never perceived as intelligent, I have listened to many discouraging comments about my education goals. I was told I was stupid, and that my application is a waste of money because I will get rejected. Waterloo has never seemed far-fetched to me, but when my peers expect me to fail, I question myself. If everyone thinks that way, maybe they're correct and I'm too idealistic. During the start of grade 12, I lost a lot of academic motivation because I was weak-minded and let negativity get to me. Why spend time and effort nourishing a fruit that would not be picked? However, after some self-reflection, I've come to realize that at least I have a goal. The ambition alone shows that I've beaten the people who never even tried. The lack of motivation at the beginning of the semester resulted in a perfunctory academic start. I wasn't giving all I had, but now my foot is back on the pedal.

The first 4 sentences sound more like you wallowing in self-pity instead of you justifying your low grades and how you, based on your grade records, were able to go from low to high. You need a more specific discussion of how you managed to overcome your lack of motivation to be able to turn around your grades to the point where you believe you have proven that you could be an excellent addition to the Waterloo student roster. Don't pose a question within your statement response. That changes the direction of the essay from prompt responsive to a personal reflection presentation. It isn't just about self-reflection. It's more about how you motivated yourself to turn your academic life around for your personal / educational benefit.

I'm not sure if lack of motivation is what they're looking for, typically I believe this is used for circumstances like a death in the family, major illness or absence that prevented you from getting good grades. Lack of motivation could potentially be twisted into a negative, so maybe talk more constructively about what you did specifically to raise your grades.