Motivation letter for bsc Economics. Can someone check it if its good or not?

I'm still working on it , a part is missing, but is this good so far?

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to apply for the Bsc Economics course at Your University. Currently I am studying at a technical school for Economics in Hungary. I will graduate in 2016.

When I began to study Economics, I have realized that it is the reason behind almost every decision in our lives, whether it is as small-scale as a shopping trip or as big as an international structure. This led to the realization that Economics is a mere introduction to an ever-expanding discipline. Driven by this observation and my motivation I have decided that I want to be a part of this restless ,,mechanism" one day. As the first step of the process, I want to get my higher education in the field of International Economics. It represents for me a powerful tool to better understand international relations and the connection between national markets. It is something that keeps changing depending on the current situation, which is perfect for someone like me, who is interested in development and studies, which apply to our world and current issues. This course provides an opportunity to improve not only my education, but also myself as an individual. Learning in an international setting within a culturally diverse student body will facilitate an exchange of views and ideas beneficial to all parties.

I am also interested in learning about different cultures and experiencing the traditions, hoping to use this enthusiasm and curiosity in my future studies. Growing up in a Hungarian community brought me to understand the value of culture and languages. I am proud that I could help to carry on the traditions by being part of a choir and a folk dance group. My time spent abroad taking part in draughts championships really opened my mind and taught me, there are still lots of beautiful things to discover and new people to meet. That experience was something I wanted to get more ,so I hosted a swedish exchange student in 2012. While she was with us, I learned how to interact with people with totally different ideas and way of thinking, which in fact gave me a better understanding of the differences between cultures. In high school I started to study in a language-based class, where my first language was English. After 4 years I passed my A-level Matura Exam in English with the grade 'A'. I am also studying German and I am expecting to take a language exam around May.

The competitive use of one's intellect and executive skills are also essential to be successful in the Economic Industry. I participated in the National Academic Competition in English,Geography and History during my senior year. Futhermore, I did voluntary work at the hospital for children in order to improve my cooperative and philanthropist sides, while currently I am part of the student council of our school, improving my creative and organisational skills.

I believe my language competency, curious personality provide a good base for my future academic and professional improvement. Therefore, I am motivated to pursue my ambitions by getting an undergraduate degree in Economics.

Thank you for considering my application and for your time
Sincerely yours

Hi, gzsofi...

i would try to give you some advice in order to make Motivation Letter..

The first thing that must be considered in making a motivation letter is the format. Each campus may have different formats. Nevertheless, there are many universities and colleges that free format. Well, in many cases, although free, do not underestimate format yes and you should use the official format from Your University. Motivation letter will be sent and read selectors, so the formal format that may indicate that you already know how to write a formal letter either. In the motivation letter, there are some points you need to fill mandatory. Actually there are guns that say mandatory as well, but these are points to consider university admission officers abroad and can give more value to qualify. Some points that you should fill in a motivation letter, among others:

In the motivation letter, there are some points you need to fill mandatory. Actually, no one said mandatory as well, but these are points to consider university admission officers abroad and can give more value to qualify. Some points that you should fill in a motivation letter, among others:

The reason why chooses courses at the York University. What on earth made you interested in the study of fields and what benefits you can get if studying in the study program for yourself and for the people? These questions must be answered in the motivation letter. Activities and organization of whatever you follow during the previous lecture. If you ever become a speaker in a scientific seminar or participate in various organizations, it does not include them in the motivation letter. But it does not need to be written all. just write the most prestigious. If you have worked or you have job experience, you can tell your work experience in the motivation letter and how you can have a role to what one group or the general public related to economics.

Finally, why you are a viable candidate accepted as a student in this study program? This is the most important part in the motivation letter and also the most difficult part in writing the motivation letter. What qualifications do you have to learn well there (this point is explained partly educational background and activities / organizations that once you follow related to subject that you choose). you need to add is your personality that will support you when studying in the field of the study (economics).

good luck

I do have an official form, but when I copied it I forgot to make paraghraps. Did you actually read it ? Because the points you made are actually involved in the letter.

Gzsofi, as I proofread your essay, here's my remarks.

- the essay is quiet weak, very premature for submission but it's fine, as you said, you're still working on it
- you lack the choice of words that will give the essay a conviction to convey the message and the application as a whole
- when addressing sir or madaam, write it this way, Dear Sir / Ma'am,
- you have the idea on what to write in your application, however, you structured the ideas that are
jumping all over the place, make sure that when you re- write your essay, keep in mind to have a smooth flow or transition of your essay.

On the other hand, the good thing about your essay is, as mentioned, you have the idea, the foundation of your essay is there.
One thing that you have to consider before revision is this, make a guideline on what to write first, second and next...this way you will create

a good flow of your essay and somehow the logic will be established.

Finally, for your last 2 sentences, I modified it to this;

- I believeShould I be admitted to the undergraduate program, my language competency,
curious personality will provide a good base for my future academic and professional improvement. Therefore, I am motivated to pursue my ambitions by getting an undergraduateand eventually earn a degree in Economics.

Thank you for considering my application. and for your time

That's it for me Gzsofi, I hope my remarks helped!