Could you please review my VT app essay. I think it is pretty good, but any feedback would be greatly appreciated. The prompts are provided before each of the two essays. They are 200 words max each.
If there is something you think would be beneficial for the Admissions Committee to know as we review your academic history, please take this opportunity to explain. (200 words max)
New places and new faces are common sights to the eyes of a military kid. In my moves around the world, I have cultivated many friendships and had to let go of others. In my four years as a high school student, I will have attended three high schools, all of which had unique communities and characteristics. Because of moving to these various communities, I have learned to adapt quickly to new communities, to make new friendships, and to jump in and get involved in any place. These moves have also caused academic challenges. Each school has been very different, and each school has required that I adapt to their system and curriculum, with some schools' curriculum being ahead or behind other in some subjects. In one school, because of moving late, I started the school year two weeks late and I did not have the connections to be able to get work ahead of time. These moves as a military child have made my academic career more difficult, but I have overcome. I have learned how to adapt to new systems and become a part of the community. (189 words)
Our motto is Ut Prosim (That I May Serve). Comment.
At face value, Ut Prosim means that one should volunteer and serve their community, but Ut Prosim can mean so much more. Ut Prosim means aligning your own unique talents, abilities and skills with the needs of others selflessly and to go beyond "standard" community serve. This helpfulness should be extended outside of any campus or school function and into one's everyday life. Ut Prosim can be as simple as a small random act of kindness or it can be a large service organization. I live Ut Prosim in my life through my selfless community service. Throughout high school, I have gone far beyond the minimum number of service hours in order to help my community. My parents, teachers and scout leaders have shown me the importance of volunteering by the importance they place on it themselves. Through them, I have learned that service can lead to a fulfilling lifestyle. I want to continue my service thought my life and I feel this makes me a good candidate for Virginia Tech, because Tech has many service opportunities that I can participate in. Ut Prosim is more than a phrase; it is a lifestyle. (193 Words)
Thanks,
Nigel
If there is something you think would be beneficial for the Admissions Committee to know as we review your academic history, please take this opportunity to explain. (200 words max)
New places and new faces are common sights to the eyes of a military kid. In my moves around the world, I have cultivated many friendships and had to let go of others. In my four years as a high school student, I will have attended three high schools, all of which had unique communities and characteristics. Because of moving to these various communities, I have learned to adapt quickly to new communities, to make new friendships, and to jump in and get involved in any place. These moves have also caused academic challenges. Each school has been very different, and each school has required that I adapt to their system and curriculum, with some schools' curriculum being ahead or behind other in some subjects. In one school, because of moving late, I started the school year two weeks late and I did not have the connections to be able to get work ahead of time. These moves as a military child have made my academic career more difficult, but I have overcome. I have learned how to adapt to new systems and become a part of the community. (189 words)
Our motto is Ut Prosim (That I May Serve). Comment.
At face value, Ut Prosim means that one should volunteer and serve their community, but Ut Prosim can mean so much more. Ut Prosim means aligning your own unique talents, abilities and skills with the needs of others selflessly and to go beyond "standard" community serve. This helpfulness should be extended outside of any campus or school function and into one's everyday life. Ut Prosim can be as simple as a small random act of kindness or it can be a large service organization. I live Ut Prosim in my life through my selfless community service. Throughout high school, I have gone far beyond the minimum number of service hours in order to help my community. My parents, teachers and scout leaders have shown me the importance of volunteering by the importance they place on it themselves. Through them, I have learned that service can lead to a fulfilling lifestyle. I want to continue my service thought my life and I feel this makes me a good candidate for Virginia Tech, because Tech has many service opportunities that I can participate in. Ut Prosim is more than a phrase; it is a lifestyle. (193 Words)
Thanks,
Nigel