So this is the first essay draft I wrote. I think this one is a bit out-of-topic and doesn't really provide the answer to the question.
Any suggestions to make it more interesting?
Advices and critics are highly appreciated. Thanks in advance n_n
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1. Please write the reason(s) why you wish to attend APU and how you intend to approach your studies within your first choice of college (APS/ APM).
We live in a world where the people come from different backgrounds, yet the diversity is not to separate us from one another. Some people are not used to living in a multicultural environment, and to support that statement, survey claims that forty percent of Indonesians are racially intolerant. As a proud Indonesian youth, it is my mission to nullify the racism and cultural intolerance, and for that I am packing all my stuffs to study abroad to experience the life of an international student and build relationship with people overseas. After trying to figure out which university that would meet the criteria I'm looking for, I was finally introduced with Ritsumeikan Asia Pacific University standing in front of an open door leading into bright light.
I have always had a passion for foreign cultures and literatures since I was in elementary school. Back then, I was only interested in one specific country which is Japan, and it all began from a simple hobby of watching Japanese animations. From that, I became curious to learn what other countries have that Indonesia does not. I started to self-study Japanese language and did researches on Japanese cultures, both modern and traditional ones. It was all about Japan until I discovered the other unique cultures and arts such as Venetian, especially their festivals, and Russian which led me to the phase where I fell in love with Mikhail Lermontov's writings. Soon I realized that my appreciation for cultures inspires me to engage in social interactions with people overseas and study foreign cultures. I didn't pay much attention to my homeland's cultures until the Japanese people gave me a wake-up call as they are always proud of their ethnic traditions. I realized that Indonesia holds more than I know. After that I promise to myself to appreciate foreign cultures and also proudly embrace my identity as Indonesian.
I believe I have made the right choice as I choose APU for my further education since it offers the facilities I want from a university. It gives me an opportunity to live quite the same life as the Japanese and also build a mutual international understanding as not only will I live in Japan but also I will live in a multicultural environment provided by APU. I am sure I will gain many experiences by being a part of communities that also help me sharpen my ability to socialize. Knowing APU also gives Japanese lessons, I am given the benefits of building an international relationship on my future career. I am also looking forward to multicultural weeks held by the university. From that, I will learn to appreciate other cultures and love my own heritages even more.
For my choice of college, I am aiming to be an APS student as I am much more interested in cultures than economics. I want to know what is going on in the world and solve world problems. For me choosing APS, I believe I will gain more international communication experiences for I hope I can help to make the world a better place to live by building connections between countries and breaking the wall of racial and cultural intolerance.
By choosing APU, I am certain that I will walk into a new journey I have always longed for. Trials and challenges will be faced, yet they are not to be obstacles but lessons to be learned. Living in Japan will also help me to make myself a better individual, most likely to be more independent and more tolerant to differences. Moreover, I will work hard and enjoy my time learning in this university to achieve my main aim for the future: to bring peace to the world.
[Word count: 619]
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