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Essay about myself, what is unique about me and what made who I am (ideas)


Jan 27, 2008   #1
I am trying to write an essay to describe what is unique about me and what made me who am I today. But the fact is, I am very weak in my vocabulary and grammar. Can anyone help me please?

Greetings!

The important thing is to just start writing! You might want to start by making a list of your unique qualities, and some events in your life that you feel have formed you into the person you are now. Once you have a list in front of you, the task of beginning writing won't seem so daunting. Don't worry about vocabulary and grammar at this point; just think of it as a rough draft. Then you can post your draft here and we'll be happy to help you with "tweaking" it into a polished version.

I'll look forward to reading it!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Jan 28, 2008   #3
ok, i will try to write something. But my essay won't be as good as the people who post here. Theirs are very great compare to mine. Give me some time to write, then I will post up for you to correct. Thank you very much for your advise. Your correction and suggestion help me a lot. Thank you very much.
You're welcome! And please do not worry about others' essays being "better"; we have students at all levels who post here. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes--and we ALL make mistakes! :-)

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Jan 29, 2008   #5
Please help me to correct in anyway you can. I will be very grateful if you correct and make my essay better. Thank you very much !!!
Greetings!

I'm happy to help with some editing--you have a great start here!

It took nineteen years to create who I am today. Within these years, I have been given the freedom to explore the world in order to satisfy my curiosity toward all the strange and wonderful things in the world around me.

I grew up in a healthy family. I had an elder sister and a younger brother and this made my childhood days more colorful. My parents both had stable careers and this provided us with more opportunities to learn what we desired to. I remember when I was a young boy; my parents bought us a piano. I have been exploring music ever since my sister started taking piano lessons. This affected me so much that I insisted to my parents that I also wanted to learn piano. So I started my musical journey and continue it to this day. I finally completed my grade eight piano with a merit. After all the hardship I went through, success was finally shown in my result.

I did not end my music after I went to secondary school. There, I joined the Chinese Orchestra Society. My purpose in joining this society was to learn more about my own traditional culture's music. I took a position in strings and my musical instrument is named "erhu". It is a traditional Chinese musical instrument similar to the violin. Instead of having 4 strings, an erhu only has two strings which can also produce beautiful musical notes as a violin does. I absolutely love the erhu and I have discovered that with the my background in piano, I am learning with tremendous speed. My teacher said that I am bestowed with talent and asked me to keep up the good work. My diligence paid off as I was upgraded from being a member of the orchestra to a concert master. I am very proud that I am able to take up the responsibility for the orchestra. This also proved that I can lead.

Besides having flying colors in my activity, I also do well in my studies. I applied for science stream in my secondary school and I am now pursuing a degree for electrical and electronic engineering under the American transfer program. After I complete my degree, I will have the opportunity to obtain a stable and challenging career.

I know that the road ahead will not be easy for me, but I cannot stop here. I need to move on in order to reach my goals. My success in the future lies in my own hands.

Although it may appear that I made a lot of corrections, some of the changes I made are really just optional ones, to make the writing show off your accomplishments to best advantage.

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Jan 30, 2008   #7
Thank you so much. You are fantastic. So can you please give me more comment on my essay? Such as I can still add in anything to make my essay longer?
Greetings!

Well, thank you! I'll see if I can find some ways to stretch it.

Between these two sentences, you could add detail: I have been exploring music ever since my sister started taking piano lessons. [maybe relate an incident when you were listening to your sister play, and were carried away by the beautiful sounds?] This affected me so much that I insisted to my parents that I also wanted to learn piano.

Since many people are unfamiliar with the erhu, you could describe it in more detail, and particularly how it differs from the Western stringed instruments. How is it tuned? Can you play intricate melodies with just two strings? Is it higher pitched or lower than a violin? Are there such things as erhu solos, or is it just an accompanying instrument?

You could also talk more about your interest in electrical and electronic engineering. How did you become interested in this field? What do you hope to do with your degree (besides just having a "challenging career")?

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Feb 6, 2008   #9
thank you very much about the information you gave me, I will add in more points that u suggest. After I done the editting , I will post my essay here again for your correction.
Feb 7, 2008   #11
It took nineteen years to create who I am today. Within these years, I have been given the freedom to explore the world in order to satisfy my curiosity toward all the strange and wonderful things in the world around me.

I grew up in a healthy family. I had an elder sister and a younger brother and this made my childhood days more colorful. My parents both had stable careers and this provided us with more opportunities to learn what we desired to. I remember when I was a young boy; my parents bought us a piano. I have been exploring music ever since my sister started taking piano lessons. I remembered that I were often been fascinated by the sound of the piano whenever my sister is playing the piano. I will be easily carried away by the melodies of the piano. This affected me so much that I insisted to my parents that I also wanted to learn piano. So I started my musical journey and continue it to this day. I finally completed my grade eight piano with a merit. After all the hardship I went through, success was finally shown in my result. Within these years of learning, I can either vent my anger or express my happiness through the key on the piano.

I did not end my music after I went to secondary school. There, I joined the Chinese Orchestra Society. My purpose of joining this society was to learn more about my own traditional culture's music. I took a position in strings and my musical instrument is named "erhu". It is a traditional Chinese musical instrument similar to violin. Instead of having 4 strings, an erhu only has two strings which can also produce beautiful musical notes as a violin does. It is slightly lower pitched than violin and it has two wooden knobs for tuning by turning either clockwise or counter-clockwise. I absolutely love the erhu and I have discovered that with the background in piano, I am learning with tremendous speed. My teacher said that I am bestowed with talent and asked me to keep up the good work. My diligence paid off as I was upgraded from being a member of the orchestra to a concert master. I am very proud that I am able to take up the responsibility for the orchestra. This also proved that I have leadership quality.

Besides having flying colors in my activity, I also do well in my studies. I applied for science stream in my secondary school and I am now pursuing a degree for electrical and electronic engineering under the American transfer program. I am often interested in how the computer functions. It is the curiosity that triggered my ambition of taking this course. After I complete my degree, I will have the opportunity to obtain a stable and challenging career.

I know that the road ahead will not be easy for me, but I cannot stop here. I need to move on in order to reach my goals. My success in the future lies in my own hands.
Greetings!

I think you've done a great job of improving your essay! Here are some further suggestions:

I remember that I was often fascinated by the sound of the piano whenever my sister was playing. I was easily carried away by the melodies of the piano.

Within these years of learning, I could either vent my anger or express my happiness through the keys on the piano.

I am very interested in how the computer functions. It is this curiosity that triggered my ambition to take this course.

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Greetings!

Fortunately, you know the subject matter better than anyone on Earth! :-) Think about the things that make you who you are. Are you shy? Outgoing? Sporty? Bookish? What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Why? What games do you like to play? What makes you good at them? What's your favorite subject in school? When did you first know that you liked it? Do you plan to use it in a career?

If you have trouble getting started, try making a list of all your favorite things, then another list of things you dislike. Then, think about why you like/dislike them, and start writing about that. You can always add an introduction afterward.

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Feb 10, 2008   #15
Thank you very much. Now I am writing another essay too. However, this essay is very weird. This is the first time I encountered with this essay, please give me some suggestions to write something about it. The title is below :

If you are given 24 hours to lead a country, which country will you choose and why do you choose this country. What are you going to do to improve this country?
Greetings!

Oh, my, that's an interesting question! My first thought is, you will have to choose a country with which you are a little familiar. Otherwise, you won't have any idea what its problems are, and how to improve them. Perhaps there is a country (besides your own) which you have heard about on the news as having some serious problems? I know that Myanmar and Pakistan have both had some internal strife lately that's been the subject of many news stories. And most people have some sort of opinion about the United States, good or bad!

Another option would be to use humor in your essay (unless your instructor has said not to, or would not like it). I'm thinking of something satirical, like saying that the U.S. could be greatly improved by exporting all its politicians to Antarctica, and giving away its wealth to people who would appreciate it more. ;-)

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
Feb 11, 2008   #17
it definitely helps me a lot. But can't I choose my own country to write? As I am much more familiar with my country (Malaysia).
Greetings!

Absolutely, if your instructor did not specifically tell you not to use your own country, that would be the logical choice! I was just assuming that he or she had told you not to use your own country on the grounds that it might be too easy. But really, the question will be challenging enough even using the one you are most familiar with, because you are going to have to put a lot of thought into how to improve the country. After all, the professional politicians haven't solved all the problems (in any country!).

Best of luck in your studies.

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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