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'Neurophily' - Johns Hopkins Supplemental Essay



DeepaJ19 3 / 8  
Dec 27, 2011   #1
This is one of the supplemental essays for Johns Hopkins.The prompt is:

Tell us something about yourself or your interests that we wouldn't learn by looking at the rest of your application materials.

Please tell any alterations you feel are necessary. Thanks in advance!

Neurophily



It is housed in its own little niche, well protected from untoward elements. With a gently sloping surface, it is criss-crossed by meandering furrows and ridges. Its mottled gray color shines through like a block of silver. Most people think it is as light as cork. But hold it in one hand and you'll realize just how heavy three pounds is. It has stymied me like nothing else ever had.

It's big. It's beautiful. It is the mighty human brain.
This notion of the brain, in all its power and sublime glory, dawned on me one cold night in eighth grade when I sat up to watch a National Geographic Program- "My Brilliant Brain". It's a notion that still captures my mind today. It's a notion that induced me to participate in the Brain Bee competition, organized by the University of Maryland, all the way till the international stage. It's a notion that sparked off my passion for the overall realm of biology.

My mother often asks- why are you so obsessed with the brain? Why not the liver? And to her I simply reply: because the brain rules.

And when I tire of its gray wrinkled surface, I look at colorful stained slides of its sections - the Golgi stained-cerebellum, the Cajal-stained cerebrum-and I fall in love with it all over again. .

The brain: the most secluded yet the omniscient, omnipotent part of the body.
It is big. It is beautiful. It is indeed the brilliant brain.

seni012 3 / 14  
Dec 27, 2011   #2
I love this essay! I want to go into neurology and I did Brain Bee too!! I would actually suggest not putting a title in for your essay because if not for the title, I would have definitely imagined some sort weird silver animal in the description you gave (which is what you hope the reader is going for i assume). Also, I don't know if colleges would like to hear a response "because the brain rules". It has no meaning in it so maybe change that up? Other than that, this essay is great!

Please read mine!
wahmed 4 / 9  
Dec 27, 2011   #3
It is different the opening grabbed my attention.

Please read mine I need critiques.
OP DeepaJ19 3 / 8  
Dec 28, 2011   #4
Should I use "puzzled" instead of stymied?

And thanks DesiGirl!!
Jaineel406 5 / 13  
Dec 28, 2011   #5
I really like the introduction haven't seen one that good in a while however I thought the ended was kind of cliche.
OP DeepaJ19 3 / 8  
Dec 28, 2011   #6
Actually I thought the ending was the strong point. How should I change it to make it better?

And DesiGirl, is "grow bored" O.K. to put in place of "tired"?

Is this essay appropriate as a supplement for Harvard?


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