Essay about New Years Resolution- three main goals for the near future

This is the last essay I have to do before christmas break, and I really want a good essay for my final grade. I'm in 7th grade, and I really want something to amaze my english teacher.

HERE IS MY ESSAY:

Almost half of Americans in the United States make a new years resolution, only 8 of them succeed. What if our goal is to get more than 15 at the very least this year to succeed? I remember when I was little kid making New Year's resolution with my father, I would write down goals that were ever impossible or things I would never try to do. The importance of a goal is to make smaller goals to lead up to the final one to succeed.

My first goal is to save up all of my money for a PS4. I was watching a YouTube gamer one time, and he was playing a game called Uncharted. It looked like a really cool game, but the only problem is it's only available on PS4. The PS4 cost about $400 and I have very little money at the moment. I hope to maybe do fundraisers, lemonade stands, or just helping around the house. Plus for Christmas and birthday, I will save my money and put it aside. I enjoy playing videogames, because I don't have many friends that live around me.

I would like to design and create my very own first public webpage using HTML and CSS. I love coding, it's is my dream to be a Software Engineer at Google or Microsoft when I was little before I even realized it. I haven't had luck with success in years; I guess I've been kind of stuck with ideas. I tried and tried, but nothing seems to impress people. I would love to show my Dad, because he's my inspiration, he worked just like I will to reach his goal. It would be awesome that people can actually view my webpage.

My last goal is to stay home more often, and explore my creativity. I'm usually outside in my neighborhood trail wondering off, exploring the new things. I spend hours just walking endlessly by myself. But after a while it got a little boring, because I explored all part of the trail. So I would like to stay home, and do something fun that I like to do. It could open up to more possibilities. I would love to read more books, but I like to procrastinate a lot. Drawing is a very important part of my personality. I would like to get a canvas and paint. Video Games, I think is the biggest part of me, I would like to save up for more video games. Or I could try a new sport, or get into a little cooking.

In conclusion, I would like to be get at least one of these goals done. Because it would be something I've accomplish in along time. I would be proud of myself for doing different for a change.

Zoe, in the first paragraph, instead of citing the figures of people who tried but failed to complete their New Year's resolutions, why don't you instead discuss the importance of completing your new year's resolution instead? That way your teacher will understand why you are making these promises to yourself and why it is important for you to accomplish these resolutions.

I would change the resolution about saving up for your own PS4. That is a selfish wish and doesn't really have a potentially good influence, outcome, or benefit to you or for those around you. Bear in mind that New Year's resolutions are always made with the conviction that these changes will help you to become a better person or at least, bring joy to others. So, your resolution about wanting to create web page is exactly the kind of resolution that this essay should contain. Therefore, the last 2 resolutions you have listed are good additions to the essay. What we need to have you work on developing further and better, will be the first 2 paragraphs so that those will be aligned better towards portraying better reasons for a New Year's resolution.

@ZL3909
Hi, Zoe!

Though I agree with @Holt and think that saving up for ps4 is indeed a bit selfish, I personally think it's very natural and real for a kid to like play video games and want to own a ps4. And I think there's actually another way to make this resolution more beneficial to others around you. Maybe you can talk about each of your friends wants to have one ps4 yet none of them can afford it and they therefore feel really disappointed. So that's why you want to save up for a ps4, not just for yourself, but for your friends as well. Have one ps4 and you all share it together. I think this way would be much better.

Hope you can impress your English teacher with this essay!

This essay is really good, however I would stray away from using the first person so often as it makes it seem less authoritative Overall a great report.