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"I am normally a more than confident person" - Common app. transfer essay



aamr109 1 / -  
Feb 19, 2011   #1
Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!

It was a sunny day without a cloud in sight, the kind of day that would make most people happy, the kind of day that brings most people outside to enjoy. I was standing at the bottom of a hill with a suitcase, terrified of what sat at the top. Although it was sunny and warm I had chills going down my spine, to me it was dark and cold with no sign of light for thousands of miles. I am normally a more than confident person, nothing scares me and I am overly excited to meet a new face. This day was different; I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. Never again would I walk down the halls of ConVal High School with familiar faces everywhere, in fact that life was two thousand miles behind me.

Over time I found that petrified girl dwindling away, adjusting to my new school and making friends that came from all over the country. I realized that I was getting so much more out of college than I had ever imagined. I found myself no longer going to class as a chore, but as something that I looked forward to. Forming relationships with my teachers was something I never thought possible, but achieved with not just one but most of the teachers. In high school it would have never crossed my mind to go on biology trips for a class that I was not even taking, but I became so interested in biodiversity that I found these trips enjoyable. I had found something that I lacked during high school; a true love of learning.

Leaving Colorado Mountain College, the college that I have spent my last two years at will not be easy. I have formed relationships with students that will last a lifetime, I have professors that will go out of their way to help me with work that does not even come from their class, and have learned my way around campus quite well. Doing this all over again will be a challenge but it is important to do things out of your element in order to learn more about yourself and make you a stronger person. This is a step I need to take because I am attending a two year school and I will not cut myself short of my potential with an associate degree.

Since I have been attending a community college I have been limited to the types of classes that I can take. By transferring I look forward to exploring all of my options with classes that really strike me. My true passion is in business management, something that I have been interested in since middle school. Attending a four year school will give me the opportunity to explore this topic in depth along with others that share the same passion. I will be introduced to all new students once again, a new curriculum, and a new campus. This time I am ready to face this challenge with complete confidence and a positive outlook. I hope to help other students see school the way I see it; an opportunity to do whatever you want with your life.

sidd777 1 / 5  
Feb 20, 2011   #2
nothing scares me and I am too excited to meet a new face.

Doing this all over again will be a challenge but it is important to do things out of your element in order toto learn more about yourself and make you a stronger person

I will be introduced to all new students again

Good Luck! I hope this helped.

P.S- Please review my essay!!
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 26, 2011   #3
The introduction has sentences with a haunting rhythm! I love it.

Use "and" here:
I was standing at the bottom of a hill with a suitcase, terrified of what sat at the top. Although it was sunny and warm I had chills going down my spine, and to me it was...

Use a comma for a compound sentence:
Doing this all over again will be a challenge, but it is ...

This is a step I need to take, because I am ...

I think you should give more discussion of your career objectives and your specific goals. What have you been reading? What about your areas of specialization and special interest? Let's see your future.


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