"The Notebook" UVA Supp; (Discuss something you secretly like but...)

Prompt: Discuss something you secretly like but pretend not to, or vice versa.
Mine is 269 Words. Please feel free to comment anything you'd like or feel that I should change. I'm open to anything.

Essay:
"Movie Night Friday" is a tradition that is celebrated every weekend at my house and let me tell you, I am a pugnacious critic. As I began to set into my usual location on the cozy couch, my friends and I argued about which movie we should watch for the night. Taking a drastic change from the habitual bloody, action packed movies, we decided to watch "The Notebook"; probably the one movie that every man would hate to watch. Now you might wonder, why are four teenaged boys watching "The Notebook" on a Friday night? I was asking myself the same thing. As a proud member of the male gender, I should probably be at the gym "pumping iron" or repairing the classic antiqued, rusty hot rod I'll be taking my date to prom with (that's if I find one). But after holding back the irresistible tears ready to burst out of my eyes, I sure am embarrassed to say that this movie will go down as one of the greatest I've ever seen.

"The Notebook" presents an amazing story of love, faith, and determination. Each scene in the movie was directed beautifully; whether it was the scene of joy and exuberance like the moment Allie and Noah got married or sadness and tribulation like when Noah and Allie died together in the hospital, it provides life long lessons about true love that everyone should carry with them.

As the movie's credits rolled my friends and I vowed never to speak of this night for we all were surely loved it. This week's "Movie Night Friday" was a success.

'As a proud member of the male gender'- i think it sounds a little too irrelevant? along with all the stuff you wrote about 'pumping iron' and 'repairing the classic antiqued...'. They are asking about somehitng you secretly like so maybe you should emphasize more on the movie than just a couple of lines. but on the other hand,you're a really good writer. very descriptive and creative! :)

Good luck! and help me with my TEXAS essay too! thanks!

Thanks for your feedback! I will definitely go back and revise a couple of lines. :)

To be honest I liked the part you took out where you talked about the hot rod and the gym as I feel it added humor. However, I think you should use a phrase other than "As a proud member of the male gender" to start of the sentence. Other than that, I like the essay but maybe UVA are looking for a response that talks about why you like the notebook and its effect on you as opposed to just stating that you secretly like it.

A good topic, I think it's funny! You're definitely very honest, I think they'll appreciate that. If anything, try to talk about how this movie affected you. I can't exactly phrase it, but I think you could add something to make it a little better. I know that's not that helpful, but maybe try adding some more personal things to really connect this to you.

@katev: I appreciate the revisions and honest feedback! I will change a few things and also make it more personal!
@enigma33: Thank you! I think it did add some humor as well. I will decide soon if I want to keep it or not.

Thanks all for the feedback.. New draft coming soon!

I think you should add the humor parts. They added a nice touch to the essay. Another thing I would talk about is how The Notebook affected you personally. Like how did the life lessons about love and perseverance affect your life. Was there an instance where you found inspiration from Notebook?

Hope that helped! But overall, it was a wonderful essay. Very unique and interesting. You are a great writer!

GOOD LUCK!

I really enjoyed this essay. You should definitely include the humorous parts of the essay, they make the essay more interesting. You should elaborate on the Notebook and how it affects you personally.

i loved it! the last edited version is better then the first and it answers the prompt.

could you please read my common app essay titled 'An Unexpected Journey'??