NYU supplement- 2050 movie, May 21, 2027

In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

Sing for Me. May 21, 2027. (name) is thirty four. She stands on a large, outdoor stage. The final 0 rolls into the seventh digit place. $1,000,000 to cancer research. December 17, 2018. (name) is twenty-six. She stands at center stage, singing with ferocity as the Broadway musical closes. The audience erupts as she takes her bow. March 2, 2024. (name) is thirty-one. A friend is diagnosed with brain cancer. Determined to find a cure, (name) uses the power of song to help save friends everywhere.

it's just not flowing correctly, and it just doesn't sound right...is my approach to the prompt okay?
once again...the character count is KILLING me!!

Winning the money for cancer research sounds a little generic. After all, isn't that what all researchers dream of?

Try something on a more personal level?

good luck!

So far I know you like to sing and you want to find a cure for cancer...but why? what has happened in your life to make you passionate about these things. I want to know more about your personality, why you are the way you are...

i really liked the concept and the approach but i get a little lost in the wording. i think maybe focusing on one particular time allows you to elaborate further. just an idea. =]

I would simplify the descriptions with the first two dates, and then go into detail with the last date, which I'm guessing is the main idea of the story. Interesting approach though.

Do you mind looking at my essay (the UPenn, Cornell, or Johns Hopkins). I'm really desperate for feedback.

Thanks!
Good luck!

I'm not sure if you're really answering the question. You're just listing a few scenes rather than describing the over arching story line. Also you're just saying the name of the movie. Write it with more correct grammar. Don't just say "Sing for me," say "The name of the movie is sing for me."

I don't think it is necessary to write "The name of my movie is.."

NYU supplements are limited in characters so it would take up a lot of space. Most other NYU responses, including mine, had just the title.