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NYU SUPPLEMENT - summer, college, poem, movie - edits required



hotsaucegrl 6 / 15  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

[please help me shorten this]

I love options. I am confident that I will receive a great education from NYU, regardless of the major I choose. The College of Arts & Science offers a multitude of choices that are suitable to my broad range of interests, such as the study of psychology and English. My English teacher has helped me realize that English is not solely a language, but an intricate form of art. Also, taking 5 years of French classes has widened my culture perspectives and invigorated my interest to understand the rest of the world. The College of Arts & Science provides various paths for me to explore my interests and develop a well-rounded foundation for my major. I know that NYU and all the opportunities I will experience there will construct a successful outcome in my life.

Write a haiku, limerick, or short (eight lines or less) poem that best represents you.

It is eleven fifty-nine
One minute until application deadline
I strive, struggle, and succeed
I'm nervous, but I click "proceed"

I have worked hard for my goal
I am passionate in my work, with all my soul
Determination, dedication, and devotion
The three words are my representation

(the last two lines i just randomly put in i need to edit those)

In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

"Everything Happens for a Reason," a movie about Levana Lee's entire life from her birth to her 50th birthday. It reflects all her experiences and incorporates her belief that everything does happen for a reason. The film provides a different perspective on life and a imaginative journey through the eyes of a girl who grows up to see the world as it changes rapidly around her. Series of flash backs will create a puzzle that will become a whole in the end.

In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.


I was home alone for most of my summer vacation. My parents had left a week earlier to travel together. I learned to travel by myself and had the chance to experience the world on my own. I visited my sister in California and experienced the famous Castro Street in San Francisco. I then flew to Maryland to spend time and bond with close relatives. There, I studied and prepared for the SAT's and went to Ocean City. I traveled to Washington to experience the city life in Seattle. I came home having explored new worlds.

lauren492 2 / 5  
Dec 29, 2009   #2
I really love your poem!

Perhaps You could add the following changes:

Though I was alone for most of summer, my parents having left the previous week, I learnedI was home alone for most of my summer vacation. My parents had left a week earlier to travel together. I was alone for most I learned to travel by myself and had the chance to experience the world on my own. Not only did I visited my sister in California and experience the famous Castro Street in San Francisco I also flew to Maryland to spend time and bond with close relatives. While in Maryland, I studied and prepared for the SAT's and went to Ocean City. I also got the chance to travel to Washington to experience the city life in Seattle. At the end of my summer, I came home having explored new worlds.

either way, I think you've done a fine job! Please do visit my threads and give any advice you have!
:)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 8, 2010   #3
entire life from her birth to her 50th birthday.

Just in case this essay is read by someone who is over 50, it might not be good to use the words "entire life" here...

...entire life from birth to her 50th birthday.

The exploration one is good, bt maybe a little superficial compared to how deep it could go, and the poem is very impressive because you obviously wrote it especially for the purpose of this application process!

I'm sorry if these ideas are coming after the deadline already passed!

:-)


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