NYU - Summer Experience & Famous New Yorker

500 Characters max. (~85 words)
I'm at the max for each.

In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.

This summer, I interned for a nonprofit organization that networks state law enforcement with the Asian community. As a coordinator for the police advisory committee, I spearheaded a project that integrated many New Jersey high schools into the program. I also met with various politicians, such as Governor Corzine and the Senator Lautenberg, to learn more about upper-level politics and its effects on ethnic affairs. I was delighted that I could help ensure a voice for the minority community.

(Should I change the last sentence to "I AM delighted"?)

If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do? (Your New Yorker can be anyone -past or present, fictional or nonfictional - who is commonly associated with New York City; they do not necessarily have to have been born and raised in New York.

With my drumsticks and Satchmo's trumpet, Louis Armstrong and I would make a dynamic pair. My musicianship isn't quite "on par" with the legendary trumpeter, but I'm sure we'll have no trouble debuting at the jazz clubs in Harlem. I'd love to spend the entire day playing with Mr. Armstrong, but performing is only half the story.

Listening to R&B and Hip-hop at the Apollo is the other must. I'm sure that upon listening, Satchmo will be thrilled to discover that he's a father of modern music.

*Satchmo is Armstrong's nickname. (I definitely want to include this, but the character limit is a nuisance.)

I'd say, leave it as is.

Also, are you sure about saying.. "This summer.." I think they were asking about the past ones. I'm not quite definite about this.

Also, take note that they are asking for summer vacation. I mean it is good you spent it wisely and focused on something productive. However, I would advise you put something on leisure...? Hmmm. Think about it.


I'm quite sure admission officers would understand that... Don't worry too much about it.

I like that short answer because it has depth and passion in it. Keep it up.

If you may, please give a feedback on my common app essay:

Your answers are very enjoyable! I like how they're interesting, but also genuine. They seem to speak the real "you."

Also, you can try rewording your last prompt to this:

With my drumsticks and Satchmo'shis trumpet, Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong and I would make a dynamic pair. My musicianship isn't quite "on par" with the legendary trumpeter, but I'm sure we'll have no trouble debuting at the jazz clubs in Harlem. I'd love to spend the entire day playing with Mr. Armstrong, but performing is only half the story.

Listening to R&B and Hip-hop at the Apollo is the other must. I'm sure that upon listening, Satchmo will be thrilled to discover that he's a father of modern music.

It's just a suggestion, but honestly it sounds just as good the way you've written it. The 500 character limit really is a pain, haha.

Best of luck to you!!

thank you. just what I was looking for. : )

Sorry, this is a little late, but if you want to get real technical, change the first sentence to this:

With his trumpet and my drumsticks , Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong and I would make a dynamic pair.

Because in the second half of the sentence you placed Armstrong before yourself, you should do so for the first half to improve clarity.

this is just a question but dont u think that many people will use Louis Armstrong?

immortalchick, that might be the case. But what NYU really want to see is who you would genuinely want to spend time with in NYC - whether that person ends up being the person everyone else wants to spend time with, or not. This essay makes a pretty good case of that, because his mentioning his drumsticks and listening to R&B and hip-hop make him stand out.

My musicianship isn't quite "on par" with the legendary trumpeter, but I am sure we'll have no trouble debuting at the jazz clubs in Harlem.

This way, you eliminate char count. Make sure to explain his nickname.

Can you edit my NYU supplements

i think you should be a little more creative with your summer paragraph like talk about a short story while at the your work in nonprofit? i know you dont have a lot of characters to write that but right now, its not very interesting to me to read.

also would you read my happy essay?

Thanks everyone.

When I wrote the summer experience, I guess I just wanted to be straightforward. (It's not part of the personal statement). I guess I should have made it createative since many seem to be doing the same. :)

As for the Satchmo essay, I really appreciate all your suggestions!!