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"obtaining a masters degree in Human Resource Management" - Rutgers admission



millostransfer 1 / 1  
Oct 27, 2010   #1
I am extremely nervous about the essay and about getting accepted as I have no involvement in sports, clubs, etc and my GPA isn't the best. It's always been a dream of mine to attend Rutgers and if anyone can please give me an opinion on my NOT YET FINISHED essay. I've been working on in for about three weeks and I can't seem to finish it.

Please share your thoughts and corrections. Thank you!! =)

Please use the space below to tell us how you believe a Rutgers education will help you achieve your personal enrichment or career goals.

Four years after graduating from high school I come to Rutgers University to fulfill my dream of obtaining a masters degree in Human Resource Management. After high school I took a long break from school only to discover I do not want to live pay check to pay check. Quitting my full time job and registering for classes at County College of Morris I began working on completing the associates of science of business administration degree. Taking fifteen and eighteen credit semesters has paid off and I will be completing my associates' degree in only one year.

Extremely proud of myself and more determined than ever to continue my education, I come to Rutgers to achieve my career goals. With the nation's number one program in Human Resource Management, I will obtain the best education in my area of study. I will be sharing the classroom with students who have similar goals, and whom I can relate and create a network to further increase my future job possibilities. The internship/co-op program available will give me the opportunity to work hands-on in my field and a possible position upon graduation.

Rutgers, being the largest University in New Jersey with a total of more than 50,000 students provides diversity which will expand my knowledge of worldwide cultures. Being raised in a Colombian household makes me oblivious and ignorant to other cultures around me. I feel a community as diverse as Rutgers will help open my eyes new people, cultures, and experiences I have not had the liberty to be a part of. One of the most exciting experiences I hope to be a part of is the study abroad program. Being able to have the world be my classroom will not only assist in creating a professional in me, but also cultivate my character and change my perspective towards the global community.

The great philosopher, Simone Weil once said "A human being has roots by virtue of his real, active and natural participation in the life of a community which preserves in living shape certain particular treasures of the past and certain expectations for the future...Every human being needs to have multiple roots. It is necessary for him to draw wellnigh the whole of his moral, intellectual and spiritual life by way of the environment of which he forms a natural part." I am eager to take full advantage of all the clubs and activities the school offers, such as Minority Business Student Association, Latino Student Council, and Habitat for Humanity. I want my roots to be in Rutgers University.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Oct 31, 2010   #2
Four years after graduating from high school, I come to Rutgers University to fulfill...

I will be sharing the classroom with students who have the same goal, and whom I can relate...

The internships available will in give me experience in my field, and a possible position after graduation.

Rutgers, being the largest University in New Jersey with a total of more than 50,000 students, will provide diversity...

I will take full advantage of all the clubs and activities the school offers, such as Minority Business Student...
OP millostransfer 1 / 1  
Nov 3, 2010   #3
Thank you so much for your input. I have taken it into account and have revised my essay. I have also finished the rough draft and would like your opinion. Have I answered the question correctly or do I sound like I'm marketing for Rutgers?!

Thank you in advance for your time.


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