Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2

I had officially commissioned a merchandise graphic ; Common App


mhanna 3 / 7 1  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw them take the stage. I'd been listening to them since the fifth grade and their album Ocean Avenue easily became a top played in my music library. The combination of the unique pairing of a violin and their pop-punk sound, along with their positive, relatable lyrics captivated my ears. This was my first time hearing, seeing, and experiencing Yellowcard, my favorite band, live. And that warm summer evening of June 2012, on the beach of Ventura, California has become one of my proudest memories.

My sophomore year of high school, I discovered my raison d'ĂŞtre, graphic design. Finding occasional freelance jobs through friends and self-promotion, I established a good reputation and soon became the go-to girl for design work within the pop/rock music industry. As an avid music listener, I initiated the most perfect job for myself; creating images that corresponded with the sound.

Last April, I received an email from an unfamiliar sender. The subject line read "Yellowcard." Feeling half skeptical, half excited, I opened it to read something along the lines of, "We like your style. Would you be willing to make a t-shirt design for the band?" I zealously responded to the email, accepting the offer. My floor was soon filled sketches torn from my books and my ears were filled with my favorite songs. Along with my new project, I had to deal the demands and a separate workload that comes with being a student. Managing my own freelance business and designing can be challenging at some times, but through my dedication and hard work, I keep on keeping on. I narrowed down my completed drafts to three designs. Nervously, I sent them off to Yellowcard's management with fingers crossed; hoping one of my graphics would be purchased.

A month later I'd been asked to write up an invoice. A week passed and I received a check. I had officially commissioned a merchandise graphic for one of my favorite bands. This had always been a goal of mine, but I didn't know it would come so soon within my design career. I was lucky enough to be invited by the management of Yellowcard to attend one of their performances as a thank you. Little did I know, my product was being sold at a nationally touring music festival. Seeing fans purchasing that simple t-shirt that I had sketched, scanned, vectored, and prayed for made me feel like I could do something significant with graphic design; even if it was just designing someone's favorite t-shirt. That one shirt everyone has, that's been worn a thousand times, no matter how many holes or washes it's had. I design for longevity.

Because of this experience, I am well aware of the importance of producing good work. I dedicate my time to designing the products that people love. It's my passion. Never did I expect that I could be a part of music in a way I ever anticipated.

Please critique!! Need to submit soon.
katev 18 / 120 24  
Dec 27, 2012   #2
became a top played in my music library

became (one of?) the most played in my music library

The combination of the unique pairing of a violin and their pop-punk sound, along with their positive, relatable lyrics captivated my ears

The combination of their pop-punk style with their unique use of violin, as well as their positive and relatable lyrics,(not sure if this needs a comma) captivated my ears

And that warm summer evening of June 2012, on the beach of Ventura, California has become one of my proudest memories.

That warm June evening on the beach of Ventura, California has become one of my proudest(fondest)(edit: after reading your essay, I see why its your proudest, but it still seems like an odd adjective to use at the beginning) memories.

(create a better transition by adding something like "it was the way that I got there that added to the greatness," or something like that (in your own word style))

raison d'ĂŞtre

Had to google this (and I take French ahah)... If you think it's common enough that the adcom will appreciate it, go for it.

d'ĂŞtre, graphic design

maybe ĂŞtre: graphic design.

through my dedication and hard work, I keep on keeping on

Odd sentence...

That one shirt everyone has, that's been worn a thousand times, no matter how many holes or washes it's had.

This is kind of mixed up and confusing

This is so cool!! Very unique! Couldn't help but look your designs up, they're very good!
Maybe mention that you have a graphic design business, it makes it more understandable that Yellowcard management would email you, not just like they emailed a random fan to draw up something they thought was good! You're a pro, flaunt it!


Home / Undergraduate / I had officially commissioned a merchandise graphic ; Common App