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Essay for opportunity of lifetime - Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program

djenana 1 / -  
Dec 20, 2017   #1

free spirit and sense of discovery

I would be a great participant in this program, because of my free spirit and sense of discovery. I like to promote my culture but more important i like to learn about new parts of world. I think that to really appreciate your piece of world, you must learn someone's else. I feel like bird that is ready to fly, to see new and different. To spread my horizont in more ways than i can now.

As community part of program i think it is very important and priceless, in my country there are not many options so i really think that this will help me as person to get inspired. And find what i want specifically want to do in life.

When i heard of this program i thought, that is me! Aspect of cultural exchange is what is very appealing and most priceless. Connections that you make is life changing, it opens doors that we don't even know that are there. It will help me expand my horizons and give me a different perspective to living and study abroad. It will help me become a better student and person.

My biggest experience is many years in scout organization. It taught me lead and respect others, to communicate and spread my ideas and visions. It gave me one very big opportunity that changed me completely from girl to woman. It was very unplanned and spontaneous call, to join summer program between Catalan and Bosnian scouts. 15 days in Bosnian camps, speaking english and making beautiful memories, showed me that world is wonderful place worth knowing and exploring. I would like to continue that path of exploring in America were there are many nations , religions and culture.

I like to push myself out of comfort zone, and this program would do that in every possible way i know how. Even though i know how to live by myself, i never lived more than couple hours away for my family. This would be a great challenge that I look forward to complete with flying colors.

I like to build myself and learn some skills but also to improve some qualities that my parents teach me. Meet people that people around me never dream of meeting.

Help me, please.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,000 3875  
Dec 20, 2017   #2
Đenana, the worst thing that you can do is start off your essay by saying "I would be a great participant in this program" because you have absolutely no idea as to what the criteria for the perfect candidate is. Only the reviewer and the members of the selection committee know that. That opening comes across as over confident and snobbish. That is not the image you want to relay immediately to the reviewer. It would be best if you revise that portion immediately to sound more down to earth and humble. Focus the discussion of why you think you will be a great participant on the scouting exchange experience between the Catalans and the Bosnians instead. That will definitely show the reviewer that you are not only prepared for the demands of the UGrad program, but that you already have experience when it comes to promoting similar values and beliefs in a previous program. Discuss how you hope to expand on that experience and participation during the program in the U.S. and explain why your desire to expand on this previous experience makes you an ideal participant in the program.
Isabellaalmeida 11 / 26 5  
Dec 20, 2017   #3
Hi, Denana!
First of all, you should review your essay and pay more attention to grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation.
Also, you should SHOW, not simply say. Why do you like to "push yourself out of the comfort zone"? Do you have any experience that shows that? - Carry this idea throughout your essay.

Good luck with your application!

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