'your optimism is sickeningly overwhelming' - Brown - A group that has shaped you

mdubs777 4 / 8

Dec 31, 2011 #1

We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has shaped you.

"Matthew, your optimism is sickeningly overwhelming"
My friend stated this out of the blue, two seconds after I convinced her to stop panicking about whether or not she did well on her SAT. Like my friend, many people share the opinion that I am an optimist- someone who's always looking on the bright side. Of course, I wholeheartedly agree, for my belief has always been 'worrying doesn't solve anything.'

This is a mentality that I have had for as long as I can remember, and I have my family to thank for that. Largely, my close-knit familial unit is the reason for my innate optimism. As a child, my father always told me 'son, anything is possible', my mom regularly repeated the words of Plato, 'no human thing is of serious importance' and my grandmother- who is a sickeningly overwhelming optimist herself- served as an exemplar to me. My family has directly influenced me with these positive perspectives and they continue to be my supporting rock as time goes on.

makman09 9 / 86

Dec 31, 2011 #2

Don't try to define optimist in the essay, it makes it seem like you're arrogant and the admission readers are stupid and don't know what optimist means.

Of course, I wholeheartedly agree, for my belief has always been 'worrying doesn't solve anything.'

It sounds awkward. Try to revise it.

Other than that, your essay answers the prompt and you effectively showed who you are. I hope my advice helps

Can you give my Princeton Summers Essay a read? The revised one at the end of my thread?

masterkid114 1 / 5

Dec 31, 2011 #3

Yes i agree with makman on the definition of optimism; you dont need it. Also you dont really need

Largely, my close-knit familial unit is the reason for my innate optimism.

because you basically repeat what you said in the previous sentence. If you could add something your grandmother says like you did for your mom and dad, that would tighten this up well

I'm also applying to brown :D
Good luck!

Could you also take a look at my essay for rice university?

OP mdubs777 4 / 8

Dec 31, 2011 #4

I revised!

"Matthew, your optimism is overwhelming"
My friend stated this out of the blue, about two seconds after I convinced her to stop panicking about whether or not she did well on her SAT. Like my friend, many people share the opinion that I am an extreme optimist and always looking on the bright side. I agree though, for my belief has always been 'worrying doesn't solve anything'. This is a mentality that I have had for as long as I can remember and I have only one special group to thank for that.

Largely, my close-knit family unit is the reason for my innate optimism. As a child, my father always told me 'son, anything is possible', encouraging me in whatever endeavor I attempted, while my grandmother- who is a sickeningly overwhelming optimist herself- served as an exemplar to me and would always held a smile, even in the darkest times. My family has directly instilled me with my positive outlook on life and they continue to be my supporting rock as time goes on.

dychung7 7 / 19

Dec 31, 2011 #5

It is good to provide quotes to support your claims but I think you use them to an excess.
First of all, eliminate your father's quote "son, anything is possible" because that is really cliche.
Also, focus more on HOW it has shaped you