I'm fairly certain that there aren't any grammatical errors, but I don't think I did a good enough job of explaining myself or "showing" why I'm interested in Duke. Will gladly welcome any kind of criticism.
If you are applying to Trinity College of Arts and Sciences, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something particular about Duke that attracts you?
There are a number of things that attract me to Duke, like its excellent academics, great student community, and notoriously nutty basketball fans. However, it is the outstanding undergraduate economics program that really puts in the top of my list. Apart from the top-notch teaching, it's the fact that they allow students to concentrate on finance, which would be great for me, since I plan on getting an MBA in Finance somewhere down the road.
Your essay is too simple and mundane for a high-caliber school like Duke. I would suggest researching more about the school and find something unique about Duke and elaborate on it. I don't suggest writing the optional unless you have something amazing.
First, the answer is a bit of short. You should fully utilize the given words limit. Second, your answer is too general. There are tons of schools provide both Finance and Economics. What make Duke a different one? Do thorough research, or just let it go. It is optional anyway
You basically cover all the basics - nothing much to add here.
Two small suggestions though - your opening sentence can be stronger. You basically repeat the question in the first third - 'There are a number of things that attract me to Duke...'. I can't think of something right now, but I am sure something more forceful can come here.
Secondly, in the last sentence, you use a semi colon. Maybe a dash (-) would serve a better purpose?
Overall, a great job in 150 words!
Can you please critique my Lafayette essay? Just FYI, it may seem longer, but it's only 213 words long.
Hi,
I would suggest:
I foundfind these to be particularly
I think this essay is fine... I mean it's a little plain but how much better can one get with an 150-word limit??? I would probably revise the last 1-2 sentences, as they are very general, and instead cover some more specifics like a particular program, class, professor or research project?
Good luck!
The essay looks fine! I am also working on my "why duke" essay and I think it's hard because we only have 150 words to explain why we like the school.
Anyway, I think you can personalize your essay a little more. For now, anyone can say the exactly same thing...try to add at least a sentence that is very personal and your friend can recognize that it's your essay.
Good work!
Okay, I changed the intro.
Excellent academics? Check. Great student community? Check. Nutty basketball fans? Double check. As I was going through my research on Duke, those things really caught my attention. However, what really puts it over the top for me is the Trinity College Curriculum. It's both flexible and challenging, which would allow me to delve into the areas I'm interested in outside of my major, such as Fiction Writing and Film, and supply me with the necessary tools to forge a highly successful path in life. Aside from that, the curriculum requires what are called the Modes of Inquiry; they cover six areas that go beyond the traditional academic setting. I find these to be particularly intriguing because they challenge students to think critically and push them towards lives of significant global citizenship-something I have been looking for since I began my college search.
much, much better.
Your last sentence is quite long. Not that it sounds awkward or anything, but isn't it generally a rule of thumb that you should always use short to medium length sentences in college essays?
Other than that, I think this essay is submission-ready.
I don't know; I thought about that, but I honestly think if it flows and sounds natural, then it works.
Anyway, thanks a lot.
