Hey, This is a rough draft -- and im not exactly sure how to end it, please help! :)
Prompt: In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.
It was April 17, 2009, the night juniors and seniors all waited for.
It was prom night.
I was a part of the junior class officers, helping with the rigorous months of preparation and planning it took to get prom the way we all envisioned it. All the fundraisers we went through, such as bake sales, pancake supper, and raffling, were worth it. As public relations officer, I had to make sure the word got out; this would be one of the best proms junior class has arranged.
I am organized.
Not only was I in charge of getting the word out, but I was also in charge with organizing the list of students who paid for their ticket and was attending prom. I created a separate list in alphabetical order for seniors and juniors. When the students approached the entrance, I simply highlighted their name, checking them off. I believe organization is vital to a successful outcome of work. Without it, things would become a mess, papers would be lost, and deadlines wouldn't be met. I plan to contribute my organization skills to the BU community. Teachers, students, and employers can rely on me to turn in things by deadline, organize group projects, and finish my work.
I am social.
To our relief, the junior class's prom night for seniors went a success. I had helped organize on of the most social event of the year and we, as a whole class of 2010, was proud of our accomplishment. It was teamwork that brought the success in our wonderful prom at the Millennium Hilton Hotel. My social skills taught me to become a better Public Relations officer, not only for the prom, but for other fundraising and junior class events as well. My social skills would benefit the BU community, because I am willing to work with others and I am team player.
I am passionate.
In all I do, I give it my best. I do not simply do the minor requirements of an assignment; I go all the way and a little further. I was dedicated to make prom work, even through all the disagreements and backfires on our prom plans, I didn't give up. I take my work seriously, especially if it is something I enjoy. I am passionate about my work.
My qualities show I am a student who is devoted to their education and society. My passionate, social, and organized nature will surely benefit the BU community, because I am a well-rounded student.
You have great writing skills! I'm not the greatest essay writer, but I'll tell you my humble opinion of this essay. I think it's great, but not personal enough, kind of forgettable. What makes you unique from all the other hardworking, organized students out there? Don't want to offend you, but I think it needs to stand out more. Here's what I would change specifically:
It was April 17, 2009, the night juniors and seniors all waited for.
It was prom night.
I was a part of the junior class officers, helping with the rigorous months of preparation and planning it took to get prom the way we all envisioned it. All the fundraisers we went through, such as bake sales, pancake supper, and raffling, were worth it. As public relations officer, I had to make sure the word got out; this would be one of the best proms junior class has arranged.
I am organized.
Not only was I in charge of getting the word out, but I was also in charge with organizing the list of students who paid for their ticket and was attending prom. I created a separate list in alphabetical order for seniors and juniors. When the students approached the entrance, I simply highlighted their name, checking them off. I believe organization is vital to a successful outcome of work. Without it, things would become a mess, papers would be lost, and deadlines wouldn't be met. I plan to contribute my organization skills to the BU community. Teachers, students, and employers can rely on me to turn in things by deadline, organize group projects, and finish my work.
I am social.
To our relief, the junior class's prom night for seniors went(should be was instead of went, or went successfully instead of a success ) a success. I had helped organize on(just a typo I'm guessing, should be one) of the most social event of the year and we, as a whole class of 2010, was(should be were to fit with we ) proud of our accomplishment. It was teamwork that brought the success in our wonderful prom at the Millennium Hilton Hotel. My social skills taught me to become a better Public Relations officer, not only for the prom, but for other fundraising and junior class events as well. My social skills would benefit the BU community, because I am willing to work with others and I am team player.
I am passionate.
In all I do, I give it my best. I do not simply do the minor requirements of an assignment; I go all the way and a little further. I was dedicated to make prom work, even through all the disagreements and backfires on our prom plans, (I would add and before the I to make it fit with the sentence) I didn't give up. I take my work seriously, especially if it is something I enjoy. I am passionate about my work.
My qualities show I am a student who is devoted to their education and society. My passionate, social, and organized nature will surely benefit the BU community, because I am a well-rounded student.
Hope this helps, sorry I couldn't offer more help.
My passionate, social, and organized nature will surely benefit the BU community, because I am a well-rounded student. This is great detail here; I think they will be impressed. Also THANKS for all the help you have been giving people. I clicked on your name to come help with your essay, because I saw how much help you've been giving people. And by helping them, you help me, too, so thanks!
It was April 17, 2009, the night juniors and seniors all waited for, was prom night.
I was a one of the junior class officers, helping with the rigorous months of preparation and planning it took
Teachers, students, and employers can rely on me to turn in things accommodate deadlines, organize group projects, and finish my work.
I am social.
To our relief, the junior class's prom night for seniors was a success.
My qualities show I am a student who is devoted to their education and society. Excellent!! Good details; this shows your strengths, and it also sows good introspection.
