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overprotective parents-UC prompt #1



pinkxp92 2 / 7  
Nov 28, 2009   #1
"Stay innocent as long as you can because these are the best years of you life." Those words my mom had repeatedly told me ran through my head as I sat in the big dark room. I was constantly turning my head side to side, paranoid that at any moment, my mom would walk into the movie theatre and discover that I was watching a pg-13 movie. I kept adjusting my position in the cold, uncomfortable movie theatre chair. The popcorn I was eating tasted of nothing but bitterness and guilt. I sprinted out of the theatre as soon as the movie was over and breathed a sigh of relief that my mother did not catch me. There was still, however, a feeling of guilt eating away at my core.

Although I was 16 years old at the time, my mother would not approve of me seeing an inappropriate pg-13 movie. My mother believes that although movies are rated pg-13, some of the violence and sexual content are not suitable for teenagers of any age. I resented the fact that my parents were prohibiting me from watching a movie that any other sixteen or thirteen year old would be allowed to watch. I believed I was entitled to the same freedom as other teenagers so I went ahead and watched the movie against my mother's wishes. The guilt I felt, however, made me realize that my parents were not being overprotective, to hurt me, but to prevent me from being influenced by negative things.

My mother and father grew up in India, under the strict and conservative ways of the Indian culture. Even though my family has now lived in America for 13 years, my parents still raise my sister and I according to Indian customs and values. My parents want to make sure that my sister and I have opportunities that they did not have, so my parents make sure to involve us in extra curricular activities. From swimming, to ballet, and music lessons, my parents make sure we are well rounded. My mom dedicated her life to raising my sister and I. Instead of working, she stayed home to make sure we had a warm meal to eat when we came home from school, and someone to help us with our homework. But my parents are also careful to make sure, we do not get too influenced by the American culture. My parents speak to us in Hindi, and take us to the temple every Sunday to pay our respects.

Seeing the hardships my parents have gone through and everything they have sacrificed for my sister and I, inspires me to take advantage of the oppurtunities I have been given and make something of my life. I owe it to my parents and to myself, to reach my full potential.

cowoverthemoon 3 / 10  
Nov 28, 2009   #2
Overall, I think this essay is great. You get straight to your point, but still show the reader examples instead of just telling. The only thing that you may want to change is saying that your parents made sure that you were involved in extracurricular activities. I think it would be better to say that they encouraged you. I dont know...it just sounds like they were forcing you, which I am sure they weren't. maybe thats just my mind...Good luck!!
jampamz 6 / 32  
Nov 28, 2009   #3
I love it. I can totally relate. The only thing is the prompt asks you to "...tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. "

You didn't say what your dreams were!
karyenu 2 / 12  
Nov 28, 2009   #4
I agree, you didn't say what your dreams were.

Also, your ending is very...how can I put it...like in the middle of something. It didn't seem like an ending for me. I think you can just talk about how your mom shaped your dreams there.

Plus, I really want to add that this is such an original and intersting topic! Good Job!

Please read mines

Thanks.


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