Hi, I am applying to Texas and I was wondering if anyone could give some suggestions for my first essay
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Hello I'd like to begin by introducing myself, my name is CollegeGuy2013 I am 17 years old and I was born and raised in XXXX, Texas. A few activities I like to participate in during my free time include playing golf and soccer and watching my beloved New England Patriots. Now onto the person who has the most impact in my life. This is a difficult topic for me. The saying its takes a village to raise a child definitely applies to my upbringing. This village includes my mom, dad and sister. I cannot pick between these three people because without any of them I would not be the person I am today. My parents are both Mexican immigrants who moved to XXXX with nothing and raised a successful daughter who paved the way for me to become even more successful.
I'll start with my father. My dad is an incredible man who with only middle school education has built a successful construction company. Currently due to the financial downturn the situation has been difficult however, he is working against all odds to provide for our family. His goal has always been to teach me how to be self-sufficient a "man's man" as he would say. Thanks to him I am pretty handy around the house. This summer I built a walk in closet at my sister's house, I took down a couple walls, made the framing, installed the dry wall, applied the compound and painted. When he saw what I had made I could see the pride in his eyes and even though it was just a closet to everybody else to him it was a representation of the influence he's had on me. My mother, well she's one tough woman. I love and admire her as much as she scares me. She has thought me how to be responsible with money, how to clean, encourages me to do well in school and most importantly to be on time to important events. She promises that these four things are essential to becoming a successful adult and I am out to proof her right. The two of them are such an inspiration to me they help me in any way they can and are always pushing me to do my best and are my biggest cheerleaders even at my worse.
Finally my sister, we have a different relationship from most siblings, she is 11 years older than me and is somewhere between a mom and a really cool aunt. She is nothing less than a role model to me. She finished high school, 4 year college and is currently working on her master's degree and is guiding me though the college application process. Not only has she helped me with school but has also helped me broaden my horizons by showing many places like Boston, New York, Washington DC, San Diego and even Peru. She makes sure that these trips are fun but that I learn the history and culture that each have to offer. I'm amazed how far she got on her own, she unfortunately didn't not have the support I have from my parents that I have or someone guiding her like she is doing to me.
I am very grateful to have my own little village, without the best part of each of them I would not be me. To know that I have them looking out for my best interest encourages me to put extra effort into everything that I do. There is nothing more I want than to make them proud. I am incredibly blessed to have them in my life.
______________________________________________________________________ __________
Hello I'd like to begin by introducing myself, my name is CollegeGuy2013 I am 17 years old and I was born and raised in XXXX, Texas. A few activities I like to participate in during my free time include playing golf and soccer and watching my beloved New England Patriots. Now onto the person who has the most impact in my life. This is a difficult topic for me. The saying its takes a village to raise a child definitely applies to my upbringing. This village includes my mom, dad and sister. I cannot pick between these three people because without any of them I would not be the person I am today. My parents are both Mexican immigrants who moved to XXXX with nothing and raised a successful daughter who paved the way for me to become even more successful.
I'll start with my father. My dad is an incredible man who with only middle school education has built a successful construction company. Currently due to the financial downturn the situation has been difficult however, he is working against all odds to provide for our family. His goal has always been to teach me how to be self-sufficient a "man's man" as he would say. Thanks to him I am pretty handy around the house. This summer I built a walk in closet at my sister's house, I took down a couple walls, made the framing, installed the dry wall, applied the compound and painted. When he saw what I had made I could see the pride in his eyes and even though it was just a closet to everybody else to him it was a representation of the influence he's had on me. My mother, well she's one tough woman. I love and admire her as much as she scares me. She has thought me how to be responsible with money, how to clean, encourages me to do well in school and most importantly to be on time to important events. She promises that these four things are essential to becoming a successful adult and I am out to proof her right. The two of them are such an inspiration to me they help me in any way they can and are always pushing me to do my best and are my biggest cheerleaders even at my worse.
Finally my sister, we have a different relationship from most siblings, she is 11 years older than me and is somewhere between a mom and a really cool aunt. She is nothing less than a role model to me. She finished high school, 4 year college and is currently working on her master's degree and is guiding me though the college application process. Not only has she helped me with school but has also helped me broaden my horizons by showing many places like Boston, New York, Washington DC, San Diego and even Peru. She makes sure that these trips are fun but that I learn the history and culture that each have to offer. I'm amazed how far she got on her own, she unfortunately didn't not have the support I have from my parents that I have or someone guiding her like she is doing to me.
I am very grateful to have my own little village, without the best part of each of them I would not be me. To know that I have them looking out for my best interest encourages me to put extra effort into everything that I do. There is nothing more I want than to make them proud. I am incredibly blessed to have them in my life.
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