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"my own unique and irreplaceable personality" - FSU Application Essay



courtney218 1 / 1  
Aug 30, 2010   #1
the prompt: The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

Values are more than just a set of personal rules, they are guidelines for a way of living and a reflection of one's character. My life is directed by many values, including the Latin concepts of "Vires" and "Mores". Vires refers to moral, physical, and intellectual strengths within, which can show a lot about a person. My moral beliefs are something that I show faith in. I do not allow my moral beliefs to be swayed in opposing directions by others. Physical strength is also a major component. Staying in shape and being healthy helps to improve the way I live. Taking dance classes has helped me to become more athletic and competitive. Intellectual strength, in my opinion, is most important in life because I use my personal intellectual strength each day in everything I do. I feel that life lessons are learned when one is strengthened intellectually. Mores refers to beliefs, customs, and traits that define a person. I value the fact that I am an individual and always make sure to create my own direction in life and not take after the path of others. Having my own unique and irreplaceable personality is something that I truly portray as a gift. Standing out from others is not something people would normally want, but I find that being one-of-a-kind is a positive way to be remembered. These values, Vires and Mores, give meaning and aspiration to life. I know that by attending Florida State University, I will be able to apply these ideas to everything that I do there and be led to success.

Liebe 1 / 524  
Aug 30, 2010   #2
My life is directed by many values, including the Latin concepts of "Vires" and "Mores". Vires refers to moral, physical, and intellectual strengths within, which can show a lot about a person.

^Cliché. Vague.

My moral beliefs are something that I show faith in. I do not allow my moral beliefs to be swayed in opposing directions by others.

^An example of how you do this would be helpful.

Your opening sentences are enough to bore a reader, such as myself.
Work on a more engaging opening, for starters.

Good luck x
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 1, 2010   #3
This will be much better if you give an intro paragraph that tells the main ideas you want to express about the two values you are writing about here.

Then, give one body paragraph and one conclusion paragraph.

You can write about how dance is a matter of BOTH vires and artes.
I don't think you covered mores very well, so it might be better to do vires and artes.

I don't think it is helpful to restate the definitions of the values. Just discuss your ways of applying them, and stick to a main theme. If you read a famous essay, Civil Disobedience for example, you will see how ONE THEME is introduced at the start and continued with every paragraph.

Make it so that every paragraph explains and reinforces a particular theme... a theme that includes both vires and artes.

Keep revising!! Use paragraphs!

:-)


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