Hello friends, I'm atempting to answer the stanford suplement short answer that asks to describe an extracurricular or personal event in less than 150 words.
I would really like some feed back. I'm not really sure what i'm doing.
A sense of unbridled freedom besieged me as I greeted the Pacific Ocean for the first time my freshman year. Gazing at the grand seascape, only the sound of rocking waves, splashing with the rhythm of my heart beat, echoed in my ears; no fights, no ridicule, and no stress. At that moment, my mind was free to embrace the beauty of nature. Every creature, from the rigid coral reef to the playful dolphins, added splendor to the world before me. But as the brigantine began to turn, the city came into view. I lay aloft the mast until I had a clear view of the city. Polluted as it was, I realized there was life in it too; life that enriches the beauty of my world. Step by step I climbed down, ready to anchor the ship.
I would really like some feed back. I'm not really sure what i'm doing.
A sense of unbridled freedom besieged me as I greeted the Pacific Ocean for the first time my freshman year. Gazing at the grand seascape, only the sound of rocking waves, splashing with the rhythm of my heart beat, echoed in my ears; no fights, no ridicule, and no stress. At that moment, my mind was free to embrace the beauty of nature. Every creature, from the rigid coral reef to the playful dolphins, added splendor to the world before me. But as the brigantine began to turn, the city came into view. I lay aloft the mast until I had a clear view of the city. Polluted as it was, I realized there was life in it too; life that enriches the beauty of my world. Step by step I climbed down, ready to anchor the ship.