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"paper and glue to make 3D models" - MIT! What do you do for the pleasure?



Planet_14 4 / 11  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
Please help me check the grammar mistake and tell me about what you think of my essay

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

I always have to buy paper and glue to make 3D models. I built since a 10 cm high little shutter to a meter high Taipei 101 building, but these models are upset my mom because every aspect of my room has been filled with them - so she has a hard time to walk in. I usually have an inspiration to build any models of mine by travelling and most of the place where I go I'll take a walk. So, I can capture pictures of all the buildings I pass and slow down my thoughts. So, I can think about my next model.

nritya 6 / 20  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
Ever since I was a kid, I've always had some paper and glue on hand to build 3D models. Once it was a 10 cm high little shutter, another time a meter high Taipei 101 building; it always depends on what has inspired me most recently. Although to my Mom these models are a nuisance that take up all the space in my room, to me they are expressions on my inspiration, usually from my travels or frequent walks. And so, I continue capturing pictures of all the buildings I pass and anticipate my next model.
OP Planet_14 4 / 11  
Dec 30, 2010   #3
Wow.... You're great!
Thank you very much!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 20, 2011   #4
This is a great edit by Kruti Shah, and I also really like the essay.

I really cannot think of many ways to improve this, because it has a unique, nice quality to it. The idea that your passion became a nuisance is not original; it is a common thing. But the essay itself has an original kind of feeling to it. You might be able to improve it by connecting models to your chosen career field, but actually that might make it seem contrived. I really like it the way it is.


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