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"Parents born in Mexico. Why I want to go to College"- UC Prompt



justpeachy15 1 / 4  
Nov 26, 2010   #1
Describe the world you come from adn tell us how our world has shaped your dreams and aspirations:

My parents were born in Mexico and, as their school system is very different from here, they both dropped out of school at a young age. I am constantly reminded to avoid repeating past mistakes; I can see in their eyes how much they regret it and how much they believe I have the ability to become a person ten times greater than they are. I find no reason for them to be ashamed though; what they do not realize is that what they lack in education they make up with being great parents. Their love for me is undeniable. Not only do they provide me and my siblings with food and a roof over our heads, but also with any resources I might need to achieve that dream.

However, a large pet is the one thing my parents could not or would not give me. Whenever I asked why we could not get a dog they explained that the vet bills would be too expensive. The only pets I have ever had were Beta fish and once a light blue parakeet that lived no more than a week after we got him. Nevertheless they allowed me to volunteer at animal shelters where I was able to connect with various helpless dogs. I also took horseback riding lessons, which made my love for large animals grow even more; the fact that an animal with such strength could be so sweet and patient was amazing. As long as I can remember it has been my dream to become a part of the veterinarian community and I am intent on fulfilling that dream.

I have faith though, that whatever I choose to be, veterinarian or not, I will have the full support of my family. Because what I have learned most from my parents is that they not only want me to excel in everything I do, but they also want me to be happy. My world is one where my parents care so much they refuse to let me make a mistake. As I have learned through others though, mistakes are a part of life. I am the eldest of three children in my family, and the first ever to graduate high school in hopes of achieving a higher education, but I will forever be my parent's "baby," and they are just beginning to let go. Although I was also born in Mexico, America is my home. With greater educational opportunities in the states my parent's entire life has been the road to college, but as I matured I chose to commit to that road. I have come to realize that I am not attending college because I am expected to. I am going to college because if I do not, a part of me will never be fulfilled.

yasnabeh 1 / 4  
Nov 26, 2010   #2
hi,
I like your overall idea. maybe it would be better if you were more specific and provided details while talking about your dreams and aspirations.
OP justpeachy15 1 / 4  
Nov 26, 2010   #3
Hi, thanks for that.

I'm just really stuck on how to be more specific. Any ideas? Like an example.
yasnabeh 1 / 4  
Nov 26, 2010   #4
well, you talk about your parent's feelings towards animals:
"I am more than sure it also has to do with my dad's fear of dogs for a reason yet unknown. As well as the fact that my mom thinks cats are dirty."

Maybe you could change these sentences and explain why you always wanted a pet, and how you feel about animals and taking care of them.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 8, 2010   #5
I love your first paragraph.
Let's make it "we"
Not only do they provide me and my siblings with food and a roof over our heads, but also with any resources I we might need to achieve that dream.

You have a beautiful way of writing! I'll make a small change here, though:
I have faith, though, that whatever I choose to be, veterinarian or not, I will have the full support of my family. ---I added one comma.

Because What I have learned ...

...opportunities in the states United States my parent's parents' entire life has lives have been...

excellent writing here.... :-)


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