What do you guys think about this one, do you think the admission officer will understand the joke in the last sentence? Or is it too controversial and risky?
Parodying Musics
One of the quirkiest and the most hilarious stunts I have ever done was parodying music with my friend. We turned the epic and powerful classical song "O Fortuna" into "O for tuna", a nonsensical piece that shows how much cats love tuna. We also changed one of the most influential rock song and the best hit single of the Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody" into "Bohemian Raspberry", a song that depict an epic story about a poor boy trying to taste the luxurious Raspberry. As for our master piece we made the famous and innocent Disney song "A Whole New World" into "A whole new Dick" (My friend's name is Richard), an adventurous song full of funny double entendre.
Oh man xD
Parodying music is the best. *gives high five over internet*
also "most influential rock song" should be "rock songs" and "depict" should be "depicts" for grammatically correct awesomeness. And it shouldn't be the Queen, it should just be Queen because that's the band name. So..(I'm sorry I know you didn't ask for this! >_< Just in case you wanted to know later on xD)
"We also changed one of the most influential rock songs, the best hit single of Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody" into "Bohemian Raspberry", a song that depicts the epic saga about a poor boy trying to taste the luxurious raspberry."
That's probably all I can help with .-. sorry.
I'm not an admissions officer, so I don't know what they want. But that is a little risque. Maybe you could change the masterpiece. or change "dick" into something less threatening to conservative old ladies. By the way, what's the significance of Richard?
That song sounds pretty epic tho >:D and I really like how its "an adventurous song full of funny double entendre."
Wow that was probably the most awesome comment I have seen for a while and perhaps my first ever "high five over internet"
Thanks Forest so much for the help and it was a great help
BTW, The British Nickname for Richard is Dick. So the joke (if they understood) is that the song is actually about my friend whose nickname was Dick but due to the nature of his nickname there are lots of double entendre in the song.
Yay, I'm glad I could be of some help :D
As an American, I didn't catch the nickname at all xD
It makes a lot more sense now that you've explained it that way.
I guess it would depend on where you applied to school to see if they get the joke or not
The idea here is great but I think you need to explain it a little bit more. I see that you like to have fun by making fun of songs but there is no real coherent message that pops out at me. You just listed three incidences of act. You could write about just one song flip-flop and then use rest of the essay to formulate something about yourself.
Wow parodying music is so great. Its good that you clarified the joke because I couldn't figure out how it linked with your friend Richard. It would be appropriate if you could elaborate on the parodies you made rather than just listing them with one line explanations.
Hope it helps, please review my essay.
I know this is mentioned in one comment, but I feel it bares repeating. YOU NEED TO SPEAK MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.
Although it is well written, the essay is nothing more than a list of songs you have altered and it says nothing about you. You seem as if you have an interesting and adventurous personality, however this is not portrayed in this essay, it is merely an assumption. To that end, I think you can devote more attention to informing the reader about yourself, or atleast, let them know why these parodies are significant to you? (Did you do them because you were bored or do you have a great drive for music?)
I hope I could help.
Ps: thanks for helping with my essay!
Thanks everyone I am making changes to it right now
