I'm currently working to finish my application and all I have left to do is turn in my essay. Here's the prompt:
(1) Describe what led to your initial interest in the naval service and how the Naval Academy will help you achieve your long range goals, and
(2) Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.
Grammar checks, awkward sentence corrections, what I should add/delete, anything is helpful. What I really need is some way to blend in my ideas smoothly.
During my freshman and sophomore year, I had little idea of what I wanted to do after high school. I was a "B" average student and had little motivation to excel. It wasn't until my junior year that I decided to try as hard as I could in order to keep my options open, even though I wasn't sure of my future plans. That year, a friend suggested that I apply for the Naval Academy Summer Seminar. I had always been interested in the challenge and accomplishment that was associated with the military; however, I never seriously considered military service as a potential career path because secondary education was my top priority. Before applying to NASS, I was not aware of the existence of the service academies.
Going to the academy changed my perspective on what I wanted to learn from my college experience. Unlike other competitive environments at civilian schools, where students secretly hope that their competition fails, the Naval Academy stressed how Midshipmen should always be looking to help their peers. The Summer Seminar gave me a glimpse of how united each company was. It was an environment that could not be replaced by even the best civilian schools. Even though we came from completely different backgrounds, in that short week, I gained the trust and respect of my squad members. After coming back from NASS, I decided that I wanted to pursue a career in the military. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself.
I consider the Summer Seminar to be a life changing experience. One particular incident that stood out to me occurred during the mock sea trials, when each squad had to run through an obstacle course in the forest. I remember when one boy, who was more physically fit than the rest of his squad, ran ahead and left his team behind. Although he was the first person to finish, he was scolded for abandoning his squad and was punished. I realized that the military wasn't interested in how excellent one person could be, but rather, how efficient and capable the team could be.
At the Naval Academy, I know that I will be able to receive the best education that the country has to offer, not only academically, but also physically, and mentally. The Naval Academy is my first choice because it will enable me to serve the country to the best of my abilities.
(1) Describe what led to your initial interest in the naval service and how the Naval Academy will help you achieve your long range goals, and
(2) Describe a personal experience you have had which you feel has contributed to your own character development and integrity.
Grammar checks, awkward sentence corrections, what I should add/delete, anything is helpful. What I really need is some way to blend in my ideas smoothly.
During my freshman and sophomore year, I had little idea of what I wanted to do after high school. I was a "B" average student and had little motivation to excel. It wasn't until my junior year that I decided to try as hard as I could in order to keep my options open, even though I wasn't sure of my future plans. That year, a friend suggested that I apply for the Naval Academy Summer Seminar. I had always been interested in the challenge and accomplishment that was associated with the military; however, I never seriously considered military service as a potential career path because secondary education was my top priority. Before applying to NASS, I was not aware of the existence of the service academies.
Going to the academy changed my perspective on what I wanted to learn from my college experience. Unlike other competitive environments at civilian schools, where students secretly hope that their competition fails, the Naval Academy stressed how Midshipmen should always be looking to help their peers. The Summer Seminar gave me a glimpse of how united each company was. It was an environment that could not be replaced by even the best civilian schools. Even though we came from completely different backgrounds, in that short week, I gained the trust and respect of my squad members. After coming back from NASS, I decided that I wanted to pursue a career in the military. I wanted to be a part of something bigger than myself.
I consider the Summer Seminar to be a life changing experience. One particular incident that stood out to me occurred during the mock sea trials, when each squad had to run through an obstacle course in the forest. I remember when one boy, who was more physically fit than the rest of his squad, ran ahead and left his team behind. Although he was the first person to finish, he was scolded for abandoning his squad and was punished. I realized that the military wasn't interested in how excellent one person could be, but rather, how efficient and capable the team could be.
At the Naval Academy, I know that I will be able to receive the best education that the country has to offer, not only academically, but also physically, and mentally. The Naval Academy is my first choice because it will enable me to serve the country to the best of my abilities.