American University Supplement
Word Count: 92
How has your past shaped your world view and what will you plan to do at AU to expand it? (100 words)
Living as an unconventional Congolese daughter and Black-American female, I felt confined by stereotypes. Though they insulted me, through bias, I subconsciously began restricting others with labels. By becoming aware of social justice, I rejected stereotypes and embraced my and others' individualities.
My plan during my undergraduate years at American University is to implement programs on campus that recognize and project marginalized groups' opinions and beliefs. I will do so by participating in The Darkening. I know the experience of exclusion so I plan to promote acceptance and inclusion at American University.
Though they insulted me, through and biased, I subconsciously began restricting (* misrepresenting/ misinterpreting) others with labels. By becoming aware of social justice, I rejected stereotypes and embraced my and others' individualities. (conisder: how did you become aware)
My plan during my undergraduate years at American University is to implement programs on campus that recognize and project marginalized groups' opinions and beliefs. I will *
**By participating in The Darkenings (what this?) during my undergraduate years at Amercian University I plan to implement programs that recognize and project the voice of the (* forgotten/ misrepresented/ understated/ misinterpreted ..etc)
do so by participating in The Darkening . I know the experience of exclusion so I plan to promote acceptance and inclusion at American University
Through patience and leadership I plan to instill an intriguing environment at American University .
Hi Kerry. I understand what you're trying to say implicitly, but you need to clarify what you have. I understand you have a 100 word limit, but it's better to just write it out with full details and then edit it for word count later, rather than cutting yourself short of meaning and clarity.
Living as an unconventional Congolese daughter and Black-American female, I felt confined by stereotypes.
Though they insulted me, through bias, I subconsciously began restricting others with labels.I grew to restrict myself and others with labels
Who is they? And, don't use though unless you're going to contradict or refute a statement. Maybe use 'because' instead. I'm not clearly understanding what you're getting at here. You need to explicitly state who or say that as a result of your experience, you began to internalize how people treated you. However, you now understand the effects of such stereotypes and hope to embrace individualists
By becoming aware of social justice, I rejected stereotypes and embraced my and others' individualities.
Not quite clear either. Make it explicit.
My plan during my undergraduate years at American University is to implement programs on campus that recognize and project marginalized groups' opinions and beliefs. I will do so by participating in The Darkening. I hope to participate in The Darkening I know the experience of exclusion so I plan to promote acceptance and inclusion at American University. This is better. Maybe make it the topic sentence?
The last second paragraph is good, but I think for the first paragraph it would be beneficial to use a specific example of how you were stereotyped. It would add more substance to the short answer rather than giving a generalization.
