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"always had a penchant for math" -Transfer Essay: Reasons/Objectives for transferring

Igglesfan2011 1 / -  
Dec 31, 2010   #1
Hey all! I was hoping that you all could help me out when it came to my transfer application essay. Basically, I hoping to get some advice on the content and length. As it currently stands my essay is like 700 words, which is a little over a page. Thanks in advance!

Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

As far as I can remember, I have always had a penchant for math. From simple arithmetic to complex integrals, I like being able to work with numbers. More importantly, however, I enjoy interpreting the numbers' meanings. While it is great to know how to plug and chug, if you do not fully understand what your answer represents, the math is meaningless. Being able to understand this idea often leads to success in life. After all, what is life if not an open-ended problem? As great and important as this notion is, I seem to have taken it for granted. You see, for someone who has always had a pretty strong affinity for numbers, I overlooked one very important figure in all of the hubbub surrounding my freshman year of college - 40,000.

For many, such a prodigious figure represents the total cost of their college-going experience, or perhaps the amount of times they visited College Confidential in their desperate attempt to determine the likelihood, down to the very last decimal, that they would be admitted to their dream school. For me, this number represents the number of undergraduate students enrolled at the Pennsylvania State University, the college I currently attend.

As a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed member of my high school's 2010 graduating class, the excitement surrounding my impending college-going experience superseded any concerns I harbored about any impending life changes. Even as late-August began to creep closer, my blind enthusiasm failed to wane, and I continued to underestimate what such an astronomical number entailed. "Come on," I thought to myself. "40,000 people can't be that bad, can it?" Well, after a semester of experience under my belt, it turns out 40,000 is a lot of freakin' people! Do not get me wrong; having so many undergraduates in one place can be a great thing. There are a lot of classes and clubs to choose from and when it comes to fun there are plenty of fun alternatives to simply getting wasted. Unfortunately, when it comes to my personal tastes, the enticing aspects of PSU are not plentiful enough to outweigh the negative.

Through the first four months of my college career I cannot help but to feel as though I have become nothing more than another face in the crowd. The most obvious complaint would be enormous class sizes, with some courses numbering in excess 900 people. Such alienation, however, runs deeper than the number of people sitting to my left or right during any given class; I recognize the necessity for some general education classes to be so large. Still, it is pretty intimidating to share a classroom with hundreds of other students. Furthermore, sharing a classroom with hundreds of other people means sharing a professor and important learning resources with hundreds of other people.

The sense of detachment is further perpetrated by the social aspects of college. From almost the get-go I have been disappointed with the overall atmosphere of university social life. Heading up to college I had been expecting a campus bustling with student eager to meet new people and do new things. Instead, it has been my experience that there is a sort of humdrum atmosphere present in even some of the smaller clubs.

In transferring I hope to achieve a number of goals. Naturally, the first and foremost goal would be for me to continue to receive a tremendous education that will prepare me for success in the future. While this objective of mine has never wavered, I know realize that there is more than just schoolwork when it comes to college. Instead, I want to be able to attend a university where I truly feel I belong. In choosing a more traditionally sized school, I think that I will be able to grow and experience things that I am currently unable to experience. By the conclusion of my four years in college I want to have engrossed myself in a very fulfilling experience; something that will have been a life-changing process. It is my hope that transferring will allow just such a thing to happen.

amjeezy 5 / 18  
Dec 31, 2010   #2
if u r looking to decrease the size i suggest, removing unnecessary adjectives, adverbs, anything that i just sort off fluff to your essay but one thing you need to remember is make sure that the things you remove really are unnecessary because honestly it shood interfere with the flow of the narrative of your essay

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