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Penn Admissions Essay - having a hard time finishing ..



x3racha3l 6 / -  
Oct 27, 2008   #1
Prompt : Describe the courses of study and the unique characteristics of the University of Pennsylvania that most interest you. Why do these interests make you a good match for Penn?

As I've spent a nearly obsessive amount of time this past year searching for a "dream" school, I've come across many who have fed me the ever so insightful advice "a school is a school-it doesn't really matter where you go." Sure school is school, just like food is food; however, if engaged in an elementary school lunch trade I would clearly reap higher profits from a New York strip steak than a chicken nugget. The same goes for my education. I could go anywhere to achieve the degree I desire, but hardly any other university offers an education of comparable quality to the University of Pennsylvania.

The thing that attracts me most to Penn is the business program at Wharton. Since I was young I've always had a passion for fashion and dreamed of opening a chain of boutiques. While I have researched many other prestigious business institutions, I have yet to find another school which offers both retailing and entrepreneurship as possible concentrations. In fact, I have found very few contenders offering either one. Wharton obviously encompasses courses for the mathematical side of business; however, what makes it my number one choice is that it also offers concentrations geared towards the creative aspects of business. While a strong basis for mathematics seems to be the favored criteria for acceptance into any Business institution, it is creativity and innovativeness that create the most successful business people.

While studying at Wharton is my number one priority, business is far from being my only interest. Penn's flexible curriculum is something that I fully intend to take advantage of if accepted. The fact that up to 43% of the classes I need to graduate can be taken in schools other than Wharton

... I am having a hard time finishing it. All comments appreciated.

EF_Team5 - / 1583  
Oct 28, 2008   #2
Good afternoon.

I suggest focusing a bit on why you would fit into this school so well. You can talk about your interests and the kind of person you are, and why this campus will be a good fit. As far as a conclusion, remember that it should reiterate the main points of your essay and tie up the points discussed neatly, giving your audience a sense of closure and satisfaction.

In regards to mechanics, avoid using contractions in formal academic writing. Also, make sure you are only capitalizing proper nouns and the first words of sentences.

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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